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Offline (the 06/17/2015 at 11:14pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1430
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Xenon1386 : I am just a lonely random stick figure

Xenon1386's page activity

Visits<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 10:04pm<b>greekpride</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:43am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 8:48am<b>Stormdragon2600</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:43pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:06am<b>superalubba</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 8:59pm<b>masterofflight</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 11:03am<b>yahoowizard</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 3:18am<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 10:50pm<b>iammeorami</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 5:38pm<b>playingwithtime</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 2:22pm<b>Fooxie</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 1:34pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 10:52pm<b>crazycookiecr</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 10:24pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 5:04pm<b>bamagrl410</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 11:31pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 6:30am<b>lec17</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 3:26pm

Xenon1386's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Xenon1386's badges

Xenon1386's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Health

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

by MrConcise / 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

by S. Fancyson / 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

by drama king? / 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

by jll14 / 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm / Malaysia (Sabah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

by Laila / 02/20/2013 at 7:01am / United States / Kids

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

by whateven / 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Work

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm / Argentina (Buenos Aires) / Kids

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love