Tootsieroll0505

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Tootsieroll0505

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1407
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tootsieroll0505 : I go on fml.

Tootsieroll0505's page activity

Visits<b>adam97</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:13am<b>chashem</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Disembob</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 5:47pm<b>CyanChameleon</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:56am<b>Trooth</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 12:33pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:14pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 10:29pm<b>beavecoon</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 5:39am<b>nmyoung</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 7:27am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 5:46am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:31am<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 1:20pm<b>Uninspired321</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 12:06am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 9:28pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:47pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 2:57pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:41pm

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Tootsieroll0505's favorite FMLs

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

by JustSayNo / 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

by the un-loved child / 07/28/2013 at 6:34pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

by Nick / 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

by Dirty_Mind_69 / 07/20/2013 at 4:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

by solitaire / 07/20/2013 at 4:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

by Happyunlucky / 07/20/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I woke up with a half-shaved head, thanks to the friends I let crash at my place last night. I have work in an hour and a half, and they hid my hair clippers. FML

by Eisenhorn / 07/20/2013 at 1:47am / United States / Work

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

by libraries are a girl's best friend / 07/19/2013 at 5:53pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

by "people these days" / 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

by getmeoutofthiscountry / 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm / United States / Kids

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

by cheated / 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love