Suptnik

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Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 7:50pm)

Suptnik

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 777
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Suptnik : My tricycle is shiny.

Suptnik's page activity

Visits<b>InfestedCarOwner</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 8:54pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:06pm<b>DubstepMasta</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:05pm<b>mariadelavita</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:50pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:17am<b>Maqiick</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:38am<b>ScottMC</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:48pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 7:47pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 10:59pm<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 10:13am<b>yabbadabbadooyah</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 2:52am<b>OpFor</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 9:15pm<b>fadi5</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 6:19pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 12:37pm<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 9:21pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 4:32pm<b>DrFuzzyPickles</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 2:29am

Suptnik's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Suptnik's badges

Suptnik's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

by Brook / 02/26/2013 at 3:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

by Ren / 12/28/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 6:47pm / United States / Work

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

by Tom / 11/01/2011 at 1:01am / United States / Love

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

by jgdgjyfg / 07/25/2011 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Health

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health