Somefruits

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Offline (the 09/06/2016 at 6:04pm)

Somefruits

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7873
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Somefruits : I'm actually a girl but it says "mister" just so I could have a blue border around my profile picture on the app since I like blue a lot more than pink and I'm just weird like that.

I was born the exact day Kurt Cobain died and I love science, animals (especially birds), music, plants, alliteration, assonance, terrible puns, and things that rhyme!
I have a lot of pets (mostly birds) including a ball python named Monty and a Senegal parrot named Loki.

Somefruits's page activity

Visits<b>trucker2</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 6:14pm<b>SilverInGray</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 1:13am<b>Etiluge</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 2:27am<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 1:24am<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 7:29am<b>anyagrande</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:13am<b>rhiley</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:16am<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:47am<b>kayla5797</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 5:35pm<b>doge_ram</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 9:37pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 4:36pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:30am<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:25pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:05am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:33am<b>AstronautCreeper</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:22pm<b>bellladonna</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:52am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:02am

Fucked!<b>Etiluge</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:28am<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:30pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 11:16am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:08am

Somefruits's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Somefruits's badges

Somefruits's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

by CaitiieBuggs / 01/13/2013 at 2:22am / United States (Oregon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

by thanksbabe / 01/12/2013 at 1:32am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

by Grant / 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

by life// / 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

by whateven / 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

by ItRainedOutside / 01/06/2013 at 3:49am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

by alynna007 / 01/02/2013 at 5:31am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

by apparentlythereisnokarma / 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

by anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 7:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love