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Somefruits

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Somefruits

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6177
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Somefruits : I'm actually a girl but it says "mister" just so I could have a blue border around my profile picture on the app since I like blue a lot more than pink and I'm just weird like that.

I was born the exact day Kurt Cobain died and I love science, animals (especially birds), music, plants, alliteration, assonance, terrible puns, and things that rhyme!
I have a lot of pets (mostly birds) including a ball python named Monty and a Senegal parrot named Loki.

Somefruits's page activity

Visits<b>kayla5797</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 5:35pm<b>doge_ram</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 9:37pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 4:36pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:30am<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:25pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:05am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:33am<b>AstronautCreeper</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:22pm<b>bellladonna</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:52am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:02am<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Topasofmagic</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:53am<b>ilmanator</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:33am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:53am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:28am<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:57am

Fucked!<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:08am

Somefruits's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Somefruits's badges

Somefruits's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (276939) - you deserved it (65336)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75322) - you deserved it (19417)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65668) - you deserved it (22963)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

#70392
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78497) - you deserved it (4887)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

#27666
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51062) - you deserved it (5953)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by toad (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

#6850
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (51081)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11118) - you deserved it (58002)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11118) - you deserved it (58002)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

#4484
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67186) - you deserved it (7845)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:27am - intimacy - by SuperJesus - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50326) - you deserved it (2643)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35381) - you deserved it (2615)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52521) - you deserved it (9753)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52521) - you deserved it (9753)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

#2177
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8402) - you deserved it (27874)

On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML

#1197
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (4378)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:36am - love - by liltravol23 - United States (Georgia)



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