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Somefruits

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Somefruits

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4658
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Somefruits : I'm actually a girl but it says "mister" just so I could have a blue border around my profile picture on the app since I like blue a lot more than pink and I'm just weird like that.

I was born the exact day Kurt Cobain died and I love science, animals (especially birds), music, plants, alliteration, assonance, terrible puns, and things that rhyme!
I have a lot of pets (mostly birds) including a ball python named Monty and a Senegal parrot named Loki.

Somefruits's page activity

Visits<b>abv96</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:16pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:25pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:05am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:33am<b>AstronautCreeper</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:22pm<b>bellladonna</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:52am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:02am<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Topasofmagic</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:53am<b>ilmanator</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:33am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:53am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:28am<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:57am<b>zarosian</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:51am<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:17am<b>varutha</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:58pm

Somefruits's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Somefruits's badges

Somefruits's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that mah new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (5762)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from mah grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "grl colors", such as white. FML

#21004875
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38043) - you deserved it (2997)

On 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

I realizd how bad mah depression has gottenhen I caught myself fantasizing about suicidehile having sex with mah husband!! FML

#20994372
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54354) - you deserved it (6508)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

yesterday my elderly neigbor along wit our community curc's priest cummed to my ouse and demanded to ( give tem te girl ). Te girl is my 3-year-old daugter,o as natural born red irises and is poto-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54843) - you deserved it (3071)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML

#20972170
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (14771)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found mah taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45969) - you deserved it (4838)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing monopoly with mah boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankruptd mah boyfriend, he turnd to me and said, "I fuckd your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turnd to the best friend in question, she lookd at the board and said, "I'd like to buy looool a house please." FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59742) - you deserved it (4319)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today , as my wife and I were getting intimate , I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whisperd in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. real FML

#20946325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (54588)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

2day I found out tat... altoug I ave te same job title and complete te same work as my male colleagues... I get paid 15% less... purely cuz I'm a girl. FML

#20939397
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53204) - you deserved it (7719)

On 10/30/2013 at 6:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today... I decided to try LSD with a few friend in a safe environment. As an artist... I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic painting and had all my supplie set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the ( evil easel ) and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
332 comments

today it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic,hen at the age of 21, I tucked mah stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different drections so they could keep watch fir monstershile I slept. FML

#20922788
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43723) - you deserved it (14490)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... my boyfriend dumped me fir knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies... an as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't seehy I should know more... cuz I'm a girl... an "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML

#20921778
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50844) - you deserved it (3752)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery . FML

#20903440
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57573) - you deserved it (13991)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cummed ome to find my ousemate cowering in te lounge corner, sobbing, ugging a bag of cips wile te automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into im. Apparently e "mistakenly" putted magic musroom in is sandwic instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (2963)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today mah loneliness reachd a new level when I befriendd the fly looool in mah apartment Mr . Stickyfoot . FML

#20866691
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34853) - you deserved it (6298)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)



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