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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5963
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Somefruits : I'm actually a girl but it says "mister" just so I could have a blue border around my profile picture on the app since I like blue a lot more than pink and I'm just weird like that.

I was born the exact day Kurt Cobain died and I love science, animals (especially birds), music, plants, alliteration, assonance, terrible puns, and things that rhyme!
I have a lot of pets (mostly birds) including a ball python named Monty and a Senegal parrot named Loki.

Somefruits's page activity

Visits<b>doge_ram</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 9:37pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 4:36pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:30am<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:25pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:05am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:33am<b>AstronautCreeper</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:22pm<b>bellladonna</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:52am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:02am<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Topasofmagic</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:53am<b>ilmanator</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:33am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:53am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:28am<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:57am<b>zarosian</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:51am

Fucked!<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:08am

Somefruits's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Somefruits's badges

Somefruits's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64223) - you deserved it (12556)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45730) - you deserved it (5909)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40736) - you deserved it (3190)

On 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59137) - you deserved it (7093)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57487) - you deserved it (3245)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML


I agree, your life sucks (33908) - you deserved it (15846)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48439) - you deserved it (5077)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML


I agree, your life sucks (63527) - you deserved it (4629)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28811) - you deserved it (56616)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that, although I have the same job title and complete the same work as my male colleagues, I get paid 15% less, purely because I'm a girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57028) - you deserved it (8246)

On 10/30/2013 at 6:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML


Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46129) - you deserved it (15395)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML


I agree, your life sucks (52949) - you deserved it (3929)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61919) - you deserved it (14945)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (3120)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

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Tuesday 24 November 2015

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