Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Soloman212

Offline (yesterday at 2:21am) | Search for a member

Soloman212

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6612
  • Number of comments : 762
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Soloman212 : I've discovered that taking a hit of heroin into my left pupil allows me to type and read for a short while so I make use of such time lurking FML and posting comments. My life doesn't suck so I don't post any FML's. Being a baboon is so much betyjdyjko gdmlu lqrbd

Soloman212's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - yesterday at 12:25am<b>Jivesliven</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:23am<b>bullshitspanish</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:39pm<b>klawzor</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:24pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 7:40am<b>konan__</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:50am<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:20am<b>kowsee</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:55pm<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:47pm<b>krstnngd</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 5:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:51am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:01am<b>avatarwill5</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:27pm<b>concon4815</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:37pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:47pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:43pm<b>howneatisthat</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:18pm

Fucked!<b>concon4815</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:37am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:47am<b>apineapple</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:03pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:10pm<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:58pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:59pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:48pm<b>RipeFlame</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:54am

Soloman212's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Soloman212's badges

Soloman212's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50388) - you deserved it (6921)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46102) - you deserved it (8346)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

#20904281
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39946) - you deserved it (6546)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by fed up/turned off - United States (California)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19426) - you deserved it (95311)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59768) - you deserved it (29693)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42820) - you deserved it (6920)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46653) - you deserved it (7827)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57321) - you deserved it (7432)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

#20854811
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46562) - you deserved it (3839)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by 4_and_20_blackbits (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36712) - you deserved it (3029)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56708) - you deserved it (6346)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45045) - you deserved it (2622)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48461) - you deserved it (7768)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: