Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ScottyFoxx

Search for a member

ScottyFoxx
  • Town/Country : San Francisco, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 July 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1983
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ScottyFoxx : I love reading these FML's

ScottyFoxx's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of ScottyFoxx's badges

ScottyFoxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46544) - you deserved it (3806)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I realized that my boyfriend only has sex with me to get me to shut up. FML

#20827840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39183) - you deserved it (16263)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by blissful oblivion (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45736) - you deserved it (17104)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54398) - you deserved it (15245)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44610) - you deserved it (7900)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

#20826525
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43982) - you deserved it (4893)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:09am - kids - by NextAmericanIdol? - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47153) - you deserved it (38757)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

#20825844
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40998) - you deserved it (4507)

On 08/07/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe (woman) - Sweden

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

#20825465
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54304) - you deserved it (4727)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by shampoomice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50556) - you deserved it (6645)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

#20825062
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37684) - you deserved it (14324)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:51am - health - by FuckYouMotherNature - United States (California)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42718) - you deserved it (13482)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (20773)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

#20824837
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18682) - you deserved it (50165)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by why me?? - United States (Nevada)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: