SamSwebb

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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 2:32am)

SamSwebb

20Fucked!

SamSwebbSamSwebb
  • Town/Country : London, United Kingdom
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9550
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SamSwebb : Hi 👋

SamSwebb's page activity

Visits<b>zBerryz</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 11:52pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 1:01am<b>wafflelover</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:53am<b>andrmac</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:31pm<b>kquals</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 2:35am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:54pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:10am<b>TonierShadow</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:04am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 2:23pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:53am<b>lexred</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:16am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:16am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 11:36pm<b>JustinJK</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:06am<b>Pandaling</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:04am<b>fmlphoenix</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:38am<b>Kah1on</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:50pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:42pm

Fucked!<b>TonierShadow</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:04pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:42am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:31am<b>audreymatteaxox</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 4:38pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:11am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:42am<b>seetei</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 7:03pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:32am<b>becre8ve</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:31am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:40am<b>marctdiaz</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:23am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:14am<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:56am<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:26am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:40am<b>amamalfoy</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:05am<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:39am

SamSwebb's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of SamSwebb's badges

SamSwebb's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

by Ruinedchristmas / 11/28/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

by void bowels() { cry(); } / 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm / United Kingdom (Caerphilly) / Transportation

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

by bookworm / 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

by HereToLaughAtU / 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 10:47am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

by omgdesdes / 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

by Slow_Walker / 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm / Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni) / Intimacy

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

by FuglyBetty / 11/13/2014 at 11:44am / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

by juggalomurderer59 / 11/12/2014 at 11:00am / United States / Health

Today, while shopping, a lady came up to me and asked if she could borrow my baby because, "Y'know, I'm in a hurry and they'll let me checkout first." FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 6:48pm / France / Kids

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2014 at 3:03am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

by notsofriendly / 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

by aineroo / 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm / Ireland (Galway) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

by socreepedouticanteven / 10/26/2014 at 8:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous