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RomanCatMama's favorite FMLs
by lentmarz / 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
by We raised that fool / 08/06/2014 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML
by Kewl_Kat / 07/24/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML
by stupid older sister / 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Geek
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by murrrrf / 07/21/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health
Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML
by Sam / 06/25/2014 at 1:10am / United States (California) / Work
by FMeeee / 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm / Portugal (Aveiro) / Miscellaneous
by Yeppets / 05/28/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML
by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…