About RentaName : My goal is to offend as many people as possible. I am the captain of cheese.
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RentaName's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
by UnknownOperation / 09/04/2012 at 9:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML
by hooligyn123 / 09/04/2012 at 4:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML
by gingerbetty / 09/04/2012 at 3:54am / United Kingdom (Swansea) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 12:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by frustrated / 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 1:16pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 5:45am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML
by Tyler / 09/03/2012 at 5:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML
by mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn / 09/03/2012 at 4:39am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by ugly / 09/03/2012 at 4:17am / United States / Love
Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML
by DrunkenShopper / 09/03/2012 at 1:24am / United States (Washington) / Money
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML
by difference between birds and mammals. / 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm / Australia / Animals