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Offline (the 01/30/2016 at 8:44pm)



  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 748
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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QuixoticFox's page activity

Visits<b>carecow</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:17pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:16pm<b>edvin</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 8:03pm<b>KissMyAnthia200</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:50pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:54am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 3:20pm<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Tempted1</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 7:21pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:11pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:58am<b>kansah</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:55am<b>Wolvander88</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:41am<b>k_gils</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:02pm<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:19am<b>erynys</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:38am<b>whiskeey</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 9:53pm<b>jaycee1209</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 12:18am

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QuixoticFox's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

by sothishappened / 05/20/2014 at 5:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

by oops / 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

by PaneraSucks / 02/19/2014 at 1:24am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, in a desperate attempt to add some variety to my life, I resorted to closing my eyes and picking a random font for my essay paper. FML

by Jess / 12/20/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

by good_aim / 07/27/2013 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 8:38am / Work