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Offline (the 04/08/2015 at 10:23am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 592
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Pirateace : what would you really wanna know anyway?

Pirateace's page activity

Visits<b>cheshireau</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:58am<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:05pm<b>bellles</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:50pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:50am<b>Camelking70</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 10:19pm<b>missAlsa</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 6:23am<b>whoaitsamber</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 1:14am<b>TipTopCaduceus</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 10:37am<b>Reaper5639</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 2:55am<b>lucyy123</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 2:18am<b>olpally</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 6:27pm<b>maayers</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 10:15pm<b>Mae342</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:53am<b>QQMorePlox</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:31am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 11:36am<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 9:30am<b>tjewell14</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 10:23pm<b>ohhhhhhhhhyeah</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:55am

Pirateace's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Pirateace's badges

Pirateace's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

by pocketrocket90 / 08/08/2014 at 2:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

by ass slap / 08/11/2013 at 11:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

by sugarysofalof / 06/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 12:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML

by haleyart / 06/10/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Health

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health