Search for a member

Offline (the 02/21/2015 at 10:45am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1866
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

MathewBlack's page activity

Visits<b>mping2496</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 3:23pm<b>evanvoss</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 2:24pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:02pm<b>Yolomcswaggin420</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:34am<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 12:48am<b>jman1324</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:15pm<b>BlackClothes</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:28am<b>mondesno</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:33am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:41am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:50am<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:49am<b>Greattitan2</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:58am<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:09pm<b>johnjingleheimer</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:59pm<b>MrPigg</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:44am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:50pm<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:21am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:36pm

MathewBlack's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of MathewBlack's badges

MathewBlack's favorite FMLs

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

by I think its dead / 01/15/2013 at 2:33am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

by Nickki / 10/14/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Kids

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

by KidKillah / 09/01/2012 at 12:07am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

by fuckingbeliebers / 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

by eviltwigster / 06/26/2012 at 12:16pm / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

by cmck932012 / 06/26/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

by fail / 06/15/2012 at 11:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

by auscop / 09/17/2009 at 6:57am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation