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Offline (the 02/21/2015 at 10:45am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1527
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MathewBlack's page activity

Visits<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:41am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:50am<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:49am<b>Greattitan2</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:58am<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:09pm<b>johnjingleheimer</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:59pm<b>MrPigg</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:44am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:50pm<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:21am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:13pm<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 8:25pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:53am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 2:47am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:00am<b>magnetic_aura</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:32pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:55pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:36pm

MathewBlack's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of MathewBlack's badges

MathewBlack's favorite FMLs

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28347) - you deserved it (37014)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML


Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32461) - you deserved it (28839)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (39098)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (3361)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27919) - you deserved it (2362)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (2912)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML


I agree, your life sucks (24667) - you deserved it (3262)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10180) - you deserved it (30075)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32585) - you deserved it (2678)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (82415)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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