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Jiplo

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 2:59am) | Search for a member

Jiplo

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9602
  • Number of comments : 291
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Jiplo's page activity

Visits<b>SadisticKittyCat</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:26am<b>Ann_Onyme</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:51pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:53am<b>cwrocker</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Clutz97</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:53am<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:46pm<b>dumb_engineer</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:49am<b>ThatNutOverThere</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:59pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:35pm<b>gennyv</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:04pm<b>izbechillin</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:48pm<b>nlm92</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:31am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:20pm<b>ToastedHamburger</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 8:17am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:49pm

Fucked!<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:26am

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Jiplo's favorite FMLs

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

#20039608
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18319) - you deserved it (3338)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34231) - you deserved it (1705)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37356) - you deserved it (10880) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

#20031010
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33674) - you deserved it (3731)

On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39630) - you deserved it (2331)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16915) - you deserved it (34848)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (6911)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29774) - you deserved it (4558)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

#20018594
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (1807)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:20am - love - by millie219 (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML

#20018268
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24659) - you deserved it (1474)

On 08/13/2012 at 4:06am - health - by stupid_airbag (man) - Australia

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

#20017485
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (2392)

On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30922) - you deserved it (2130)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7149) - you deserved it (49596)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33850) - you deserved it (1714)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

#20000538
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17251) - you deserved it (9645)

On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)



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