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Izabel12's favorite FMLs
Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML
by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by transcendingnerd / 04/13/2015 at 6:46am / Philippines (Manila) / Kids
Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML
by whymanwhy / 04/13/2015 at 6:43am / Czech Republic / Love
by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Northshore75 / 01/15/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Extravirgin / 12/16/2014 at 7:01am / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy
by weirdthingtosay / 11/21/2014 at 4:56am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML
by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML
by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by shelookslikemiley / 09/23/2014 at 8:48am / Australia / Geek
by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal".… Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was… Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML