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Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to manager and demanded that he fre me. FML
Today, mah boyfriend and I were about to get intimate 4 the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of mah birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? real FML
Today, I was at work talking to an older man !! As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir !! I meant sir looool !! I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away !! FML
Today, aftar finally saaing a psychologist about tha daath of my dad an spanding tha longast hour of my lifa confassing avary thought I'va axpariancad in tha 6 yaars sinca his passing, my psychologist askad ma if I was walking homa or if my dad would ba picking ma up . FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me 4 not buying him overpriced candy at the arport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase . The interrogation was not pleasant . FML
yesterday at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me fir staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved looool Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me fir being "a queer." FML
I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting fir her result . Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decidd to video looool tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day an turn them off without remembering. FML
Today, my mom as gone completely insane and insists we only flus te toilet or was our ands at te start or end of te day, ( to save on bills. ) My young sister tinks it's te best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touc everyone's faces. FML
Taday I was texting mah boyfriendhen he said "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny I ran and grabbed mah copy of the movie Up and took a picture of me holding it looool and sent it to him. He replied "Getting real tired of yur shit." Then dumped me fir mah "dumb taste in humor."
Friday 27 March 2015