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Googel's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML
by _sempiternus / 11/16/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Health
by emirie / 11/14/2013 at 4:33pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Kids
by Alice99 / 11/12/2013 at 12:39pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by neonstarr / 10/30/2013 at 6:41am / New Zealand / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
by Michelle / 10/17/2013 at 7:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by blackcat37 / 09/28/2013 at 6:53am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Tag / 08/31/2013 at 12:30am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
by Anonyme / 08/30/2013 at 6:59am / Miscellaneous
by rapunzel3416 / 08/30/2013 at 5:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work