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Goldenchest

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Goldenchest
  • Town/Country : Florence, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 8347
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.

Goldenchest's last visitors

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Goldenchest's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Goldenchest's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML

#21090670
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33846) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML

#21090330
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (3850)

On 03/18/2014 at 9:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39321) - you deserved it (3236)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50641) - you deserved it (4031)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39977) - you deserved it (5221)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40582) - you deserved it (3617)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

#21086220
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38337) - you deserved it (3236)

On 03/14/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37994) - you deserved it (7412) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (6062)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40981) - you deserved it (3838)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41231) - you deserved it (5557)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

#21080644
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40706) - you deserved it (4163)

On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat c**t". FML

#21078597
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62092) - you deserved it (4391)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom



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