About Gixie : I have actually been using FML for well over a year before I decided to create a profile and then another six months before I decided to actually start using it. I'm actually disappointed that I could have been earning badges the whole time. FML.
Gixie's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Gixie's favorite FMLs
Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML
by Smart / 09/16/2011 at 10:42am / United States / Kids
by ryanlogan / 08/31/2011 at 2:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Work
by MissArizona / 08/08/2011 at 10:12am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML
by xBubbles38 / 07/18/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Kids
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
by wittlegirl / 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by dee / 07/03/2011 at 1:36am / United States / Kids
by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by kyle / 06/05/2011 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by ZaraAce / 04/15/2011 at 7:38am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Love
Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML
by andimanastudent / 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML
by smbcolorado / 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous