Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Fsvb

Search for a member

Fsvb
  • Town/Country : Hoorn, The Netherlands
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 March 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2089
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Fsvb : Look at that fat birdie up there. Look at it. Isn't it awesome? Her name is Derp :)

Fsvb's last visitors

katydid91B303123triplebeeroxRababcoKirito_Kazutohcollins1Drag0nb0rnalliewillie

Fsvb's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of Fsvb's badges

Fsvb's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (1899)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (5215)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML

#17531904
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11017) - you deserved it (39476)

On 08/20/2011 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by owmyhead (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (3768)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

#17296721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23152) - you deserved it (9285)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53267) - you deserved it (9957)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother-in-law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML

#15693901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (3403)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (30431)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38061) - you deserved it (25747) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34905) - you deserved it (9790)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you deserved it (8181)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you deserved it (8181)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite rock songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

#13260803
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7993) - you deserved it (28960)

On 09/30/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by PhilDavisDied? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my parents I no longer believe in the religion they strictly raised me under. They responded by kicking me out of the house. I'm broke, jobless and the only person that will take me in is my psycho ex-girlfriend who never got over me. FML

#13165960
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29902) - you deserved it (13905)

On 09/23/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by non believer - United States (Washington)

Today, I got out our electric fan because it was very hot. A cockroach crawled up behind the frame on the fan and fell into the gap of the frame. It got itself killed by the rotating fan, and had its blended flesh sent flying all over my white polo shirt. FML

#13015413
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (3389)

On 09/12/2010 at 4:00am - misc - by roachblend (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: