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EpicSquishii

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EpicSquishii
  • Town/Country : Seattle, WA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 5205
  • Number of comments : 561
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EpicSquishii : Hello.

My first name starts with an E. I'm 21 years old. I have two pets, one English Bulldog puppy, and one adorable black cat who is super huge but only 3 years old.

I sell cosmetics as a part time job and am in school full-time to become a child psychologist.
The Room is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

My favorite meal is steak and baked potatoes.
I like to have funny conversations, and I say offensive things really often to try and figure out how likely the other person is to be a good friend. If they get offended, I don't need or want them in my social circle. If they laugh and come up with something equally crazy, they're a potential bestie.

EpicSquishii's last visitors

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EpicSquishii's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of EpicSquishii's badges

EpicSquishii's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

#15091892
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35166) - you deserved it (3326)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after finally dropping my weight from an overweight 200 to a slim 135, my skin is now loose everywhere, and stretches about two inches out on my stomach. FML

#14350386
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (6081)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by cloud7 -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me by finding orange panties in my closet. His excuse was "they're a Christmas gift." Thanks honey, I get panties that won't fit, and have little brown streaks. FML

#14022422
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31882) - you deserved it (2502)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was trying to get to my boyfriend via public transport in Thailand. He was giving the driver instructions through my phone when my phone went flat. I am now alone in the passenger seat of a car, next to a creepy old driver, no idea where he is taking me, and I don't speak a word of Thai. FML

#14006196
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22340) - you deserved it (4547)

On 11/28/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't wear deodorant and has horrible dandruff, decided to shower for the first time in nearly a week because he got invited out to a bar. He didn't even invite me to go with him. FML

#13782541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10326) - you deserved it (33312)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:11pm - health - by worthless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML

#13365724
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38908) - you deserved it (5558)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by ringhider (man) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML

#13221173
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25485) - you deserved it (3684)

On 09/27/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by cinderella (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

#12750103
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12211) - you deserved it (46418)

On 08/26/2010 at 1:33am - animals - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML

#10521391
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (4424)

On 05/14/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by superhero1043 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5699) - you deserved it (17390)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (8815)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

#6873751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31083) - you deserved it (2526)

On 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by chao (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10780) - you deserved it (43850)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)



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