EllaJSwiftie

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Offline (the 07/16/2014 at 9:34pm)

EllaJSwiftie

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 25887
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About EllaJSwiftie : Hi! I'm Ella and i'm from the Netherlands.. That's all I got to say :P
Oh, and I love Taylor Swift. :D

And... please stop using FML as a dating site, I'm single and I love it

EllaJSwiftie's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 9:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:33pm<b>macelonel</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:02am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:44pm<b>rapsac200</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 5:12pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:40am<b>bps315</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:25pm<b>lulumars</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:36pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:58pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:36am<b>drunk_crow</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:00pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:32pm<b>ben_hzo</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:29pm<b>countrygirl2272</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:22am<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 2:08am<b>poemqueen</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 7:11pm<b>cadyshaw17</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:18am<b>iMark</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:06pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:45am<b>imkool136</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:36pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:32pm

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EllaJSwiftie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

by marsbar / 03/15/2009 at 1:07am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

by maximumpower / 03/14/2009 at 9:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I met a really nice couple at a bar. We talked and the conversation eventually drifted towards online dating. I casually commented that hooking up through the internet was sad and pathetic. Turns out they met on Myspace. FML

by bigmouth / 03/14/2009 at 4:43am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

by like / 03/14/2009 at 1:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:46am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 5:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

by collegegirl90 / 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

by fashionVictim / 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

by nutsucker / 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was reading my girlfriend's girly magazine. There was an article stating that if a girl tells a guy his dick is the perfect size, she really means that it is too small. My girlfriend claims everything in the magazine is right. She told me my dick was the perfect size last weekend. FML

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

by Cody / 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy