About Elizabethio : My name is Elizabeth. I love animals, especially dogs. I also love my family and my awesome boyfriend.
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Elizabethio's favorite FMLs
by Aggie_De / 12/14/2013 at 7:00am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by resurrected / 09/04/2013 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Work
Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML
by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML
by sweetnan / 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
by Parenting... / 08/27/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
by fuckingjesusgran / 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm / Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego) / Transportation
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
by Sirah90 / 05/07/2013 at 3:29am / United States / Intimacy
by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love
by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML
by FUCKKKS / 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm / United States / Transportation
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
by itsrathersmall / 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
by HatedGrandson / 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a… Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the… Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin.…
- Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to… Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on…