About Doxy : Currently living in my fortress of solitude err I mean awkwardness with penguins and Superman.
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Doxy's favorite FMLs
Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML
by help / 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Geek
Today, I was telling my girlfriend about how my parents are flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because "It's on the other side of the world." We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm / United States (Texas) / Holidays
Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML
by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML
by strokesie / 07/03/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML
by Jenn / 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML
by whorecrux / 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids
by cheerbabeXoXo / 06/29/2013 at 5:49pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Love
Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML
by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek
by Creepedout / 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Coolios / 06/24/2013 at 10:16am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous
by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
- Today, I came home from school and took a nap. I woke up at 6:30 and thought I was late for school… Today, I'm moving from my house that I was renting with my roommates. They asked for Internet $ and… Today, my I overheard my mother tell my dad that she wants the cats gone by the time she gets back…