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Dide9872's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML
by dude i am so sorry / 09/19/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by slim_breezy / 06/04/2016 at 3:41am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 8:42am / United States (Maryland) / Money
by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX / 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML
by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids
by confused / 09/28/2011 at 12:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by Alexandra / 09/20/2011 at 4:25am / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy