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Offline (the 10/21/2016 at 6:02pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 354
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dide9872's page activity

Visits<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 12:09pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 12:25am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 7:20pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 3:49pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 2:14pm<b>daken96</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:02am<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 9:45pm<b>Ki11erRabbit</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:21pm<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:20pm<b>abNormal62</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:58am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:41pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:55pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:13am<b>swanheart</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:11pm<b>Hollywoodgirl79</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:17pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:02am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 2:27pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:03am

Fucked!<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 3:45am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 5:02pm

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Dide9872's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML

by The_Life / 10/12/2016 at 9:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Geek

Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML

by StarDust5921 / 10/03/2016 at 9:55pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML

by dude i am so sorry / 09/19/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, a customer asked if we stocked gluten-free water. Then she got pissed when I laughed at what I thought was her joke. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2016 at 10:23am / Work

Today, I had to rush my son to the ER after he ate a poisonous plant. He said the plant looked like one in Skyrim and he thought he'd get super powers from eating it. FML

by slim_breezy / 06/04/2016 at 3:41am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 8:42am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX / 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

by resurrected / 09/04/2013 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Work

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work