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DanniThePanda_

Offline (the 06/05/2014 at 11:03am) | Search for a member

DanniThePanda_

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DanniThePanda_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11491) - you deserved it (89133)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (106365)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14160) - you deserved it (119678)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36323) - you deserved it (95675)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

#2687233
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10860) - you deserved it (120227)

On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (273716)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14993) - you deserved it (135407)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34338) - you deserved it (125074)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

#456719
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16128) - you deserved it (118254)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)



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