CrimsonAmaryllis

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Offline (the 02/08/2014 at 6:53pm)

CrimsonAmaryllis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 June 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 707
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About CrimsonAmaryllis : Enjoying FMLs for almost as long as the page has been open. Only just got around to making an account though. Oops.

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"Oh no, that's paranoia. Everyone in the universe gets that.
Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I think that the chances of finding out what's actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, 'hang the sense of it', and keep yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy than right any day."
"And are you?"
"Ah...no. That's where it all falls down, of course."

CrimsonAmaryllis's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 4:39pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:42pm<b>bluemaster101</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 4:56pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:59pm<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 9:15pm<b>FinJage</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:44pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 11:16pm<b>davikiin</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 12:22pm<b>FMLandFYL2_xoxo</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 9:21am<b>Pwobbles</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 8:20am<b>downzi104</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 8:01am<b>PhD_1</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:44pm<b>RevengeIsSweet</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 9:31pm<b>Zuko24</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 6:52pm<b>edvin</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 7:30pm<b>mely_no</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 3:22am

CrimsonAmaryllis's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of CrimsonAmaryllis's badges

CrimsonAmaryllis's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Transportation

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Work

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy