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Claytonioo

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Claytonioo
  • Town/Country : Murica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 733
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Claytonioo's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52887) - you deserved it (3595)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was laid off from my job as a manager. After cleaning out my office, I began clearing my computer. I received an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too bad it was for my job. FML

#20651556
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39997) - you deserved it (3171)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

#20651541
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50363) - you deserved it (3684)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47659) - you deserved it (10614)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42798) - you deserved it (5585)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45991) - you deserved it (5252)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23180) - you deserved it (46598)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57099) - you deserved it (4333)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61103) - you deserved it (5772)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61792) - you deserved it (5650)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19392) - you deserved it (44438)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

#20643291
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47702) - you deserved it (4702)

On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40641) - you deserved it (71512)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50880) - you deserved it (9920)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

#20642213
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47061) - you deserved it (6457)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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