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Ceejay1

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Ceejay1
  • Town/Country : San Diego , United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 402
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ceejay1's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Ceejay1's favorite FMLs

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (38755)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47215) - you deserved it (10907)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61832) - you deserved it (5022)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45136) - you deserved it (2721)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61845) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

#20726806
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44777) - you deserved it (5743)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43537) - you deserved it (17899)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (24152)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36170) - you deserved it (65723)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54692) - you deserved it (7855)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54562) - you deserved it (3826)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80718) - you deserved it (6614)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77790) - you deserved it (3223)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29335) - you deserved it (32053)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1095002) - you deserved it (108815)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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