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Offline (the 03/15/2014 at 10:43pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2008
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Calaraphea : Nobody likes me, neither will you. c:

Calaraphea's page activity

Visits<b>boricualuv</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:58pm<b>MistayJay</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:22pm<b>clairedabear</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 10:28am<b>Suisei</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:23am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:31am<b>zarbof</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:34am<b>namine120409</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 1:23am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 3:20pm<b>reillyg11</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:19pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:07pm<b>mistress_paz</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:03pm<b>stryggzy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Diesel96</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:31am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:50pm<b>jbcy</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:04am<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:05am<b>TheKasox</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:28pm

Fucked!<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:20pm<b>reillyg11</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:19am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:07pm<b>mistress_paz</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:03am

Calaraphea's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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Calaraphea's favorite FMLs

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44986) - you deserved it (7951)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (3066)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Mika_Ookami - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20952) - you deserved it (5271)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by Decker (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21217) - you deserved it (36007)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out I've been misspelling my middle name for 25 years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18180) - you deserved it (38769)

On 11/28/2009 at 8:53pm - misc - by figures - United States

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32138) - you deserved it (8342)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9642) - you deserved it (29050)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by RyanTheMan15 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I just let out all my feeling for a woman that I have loved for 22 years. When I finished she said "You're so funny" and walked away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34375) - you deserved it (6108)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by diskdude13 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50950) - you deserved it (20563)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by ugh.. (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML


I agree, your life sucks (98401) - you deserved it (3795)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by Betrayed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54243) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45130) - you deserved it (152505)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (88283) - you deserved it (5473)

On 04/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by fmylifebadddd (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

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