Calaraphea

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Offline (the 03/15/2014 at 10:43pm)

Calaraphea

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2307
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Calaraphea : Nobody likes me, neither will you. c:

Calaraphea's page activity

Visits<b>Fed21</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 1:08pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 5:42pm<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 6:05pm<b>Guylly</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 8:25pm<b>anjie_mackney</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 11:18pm<b>LadyLiani</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:13am<b>pear_flavored</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 12:16am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:24pm<b>r1has</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:10pm<b>kageboy</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:21pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:56pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 10:01pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 2:31am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:58pm<b>MistayJay</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:22pm<b>clairedabear</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 10:28am<b>Suisei</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:23am

Fucked!<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 12:05am<b>pear_flavored</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:16am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:31am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:20pm<b>reillyg11</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:19am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:07pm<b>mistress_paz</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:03am

Calaraphea's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Calaraphea's badges

Calaraphea's favorite FMLs

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

by Hate2Date / 04/05/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

by Mika_Ookami / 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

by Decker / 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I've been misspelling my middle name for 25 years. FML

by figures / 11/28/2009 at 8:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

by fartlover / 11/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

by RyanTheMan15 / 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I just let out all my feeling for a woman that I have loved for 22 years. When I finished she said "You're so funny" and walked away. FML

by diskdude13 / 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

by ugh.. / 08/09/2009 at 11:27am / United States (Alaska) / Kids

Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML

by Betrayed / 07/31/2009 at 5:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

by blinded / 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

by Sad / 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

by fmylifebadddd / 04/18/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous