Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ashamed_Sister

Search for a member

Ashamed_Sister
  • Town/Country : Vienna, Austria
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 June 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2597
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Ashamed_Sister : Sometimes I’m a confused girl, confused by a weird family. On most days, however, I just try to be a funny girl struggling with my live in order to get what I want.
The photo is a bit old. At that time I looked sweet and innocent, but my family already thought I have a dirty mouth…

Ashamed_Sister's last visitors

MariJ82eaglerob6dandaman5Insanityconfinednissanleaffrank_99Gr8wise1Decky_BarFedergirl

Ashamed_Sister's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Ashamed_Sister's badges

Ashamed_Sister's favorite FMLs

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

#3418538
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71625) - you deserved it (3965)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:18am - love - by rockstarohyeah (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74310) - you deserved it (10287)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113650) - you deserved it (71756)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65005) - you deserved it (5035)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

#2593216
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64376) - you deserved it (2688)

On 06/04/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

#2527360
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77818) - you deserved it (5505)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31735) - you deserved it (49738)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

#1881658
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9864) - you deserved it (52201)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90283) - you deserved it (19961)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

#1002619
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75964) - you deserved it (6144)

On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

#966967
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68411) - you deserved it (24730)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I'm his girlfriend, my sister didn't recognize me. FML

#877669
110 comments

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

#871042
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102587) - you deserved it (5068)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: