Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Arni792

Offline (yesterday at 8:10pm) | Search for a member

Arni792

67Fucked!

Arni792Arni792
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 July 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6918
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Arni792's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - 18 hours ago<b>beckamoosee</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:01am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:40am<b>hberri331</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Rebekha04</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 11:37pm<b>awesomeali</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:24pm<b>llamaaduckk</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:44pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:34pm<b>haileyrows</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:43pm<b>Abbey1598</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:39pm<b>18emikot</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:42am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:38am<b>caspergirl17</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:04am<b>lulumars</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:51pm<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:23pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:48pm<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:21am<b>RachelHigg</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:05am

Fucked!<b>beckamoosee</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:01am<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:23pm<b>llamaaduckk</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 5:32pm<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:13pm<b>wfacsc</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:15am<b>misfitunfit</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:24am<b>marianajade</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 5:11am<b>rach0545</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:13am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:02am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 3:48am<b>hellpop</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:24pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:38am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:52am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:55pm<b>jazzyjazz04</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:17am<b>jessie85678</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:01pm<b>madi113</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:31am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 4:49am

Arni792's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Arni792's badges

Arni792's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45274) - you deserved it (7432)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40111) - you deserved it (3256)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

#21096939
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37930) - you deserved it (7644)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by sociallyawkward (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49184) - you deserved it (12584)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

#21095019
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31911) - you deserved it (20067)

On 03/24/2014 at 8:39am - misc - by pantyripper (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35334) - you deserved it (12197)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

#21085559
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39325) - you deserved it (5928)

On 03/13/2014 at 7:59am - misc - by Crochocinco85 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50144) - you deserved it (5764)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

#21064082
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54587) - you deserved it (4859)

On 02/18/2014 at 12:45am - love - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52532) - you deserved it (8869)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58618) - you deserved it (9422)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (6481)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39569) - you deserved it (5484)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

#20992530
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45032) - you deserved it (3707)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by bnc (man) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: