Nearly FMLs

By TheChubster - 21/02/2016 07:12 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I got in a huge argument with my dad about responsibility, and how I am more then capable of taking care of myself while he is on vacation for a week and a half. I then proceeded to storm out, trip down the stairs, and break both my legs, greetings from the hospital, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By HylianBadger - 21/02/2016 07:10 - United States

Today, I was commenting on a debate. I was stating how important it was for parents to teach their teenage children about safe sex. I was then told I was "sick in the head" by a chick who openly claimed to be sexually attracted to pineapples. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Ri_Ri_Life - 21/02/2016 06:58 - United States - Omaha

Today, I had a reservation for 10 people for my birthday. all had RSVPed even. They all canceled within 4 hours before it. I spent my birthday alone.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By LittleGina - 21/02/2016 06:52 - United States - Roxboro

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend with dinner after he worked all day. I ended up setting the kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MasBella - 21/02/2016 06:37

Today, I went to a marriage retreat and on my way there I noticed that I forgot my wedding ring FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By TrickyDeath - 21/02/2016 06:30 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my sleeping medication wouldn't kick in and I was afraid my constant shuffling would wake my roommate, so I went downstairs for a slice of pizza to wait. I nearly fell asleep on the staircase back up, fell, and made a huge racket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 21/02/2016 06:08 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, I went to work at a new company and after I got to my desk I dropped my pen. I bent down to pick my pen up and because I wore a pencil skirt, it ripped. If thats not bad enough, under the desk was dried up white fluid everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 06:06 - United States - Ripon

Today, I finally went up to do a presentation I was super nervous about all week. Just as my group was nearly finished, the teacher began to laugh during my conclusion. She was thinking of a television show. I cried twice and had to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By why me - 21/02/2016 05:57 - Australia - Geelong

Today, I went to sleep nice and early. My dog was lying on the end of my bed and I heard her letting out high pitched squeaky farts. I ignored it until the smell got so bad. I looked up and found my dog had done a shit on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Didntgetthejob - 21/02/2016 05:54 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I had a date with a guy I met online. I wasn't catfished and he didn't try to kill me, but he was so shy he didn't speak unless I directly asked him a question. It was essentially a job interview. Not the best dinner date I've ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Nineyearswasted - 21/02/2016 05:42 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I had to change my life plan. I've just started university after wanting to become a dentist for 9 years. I had 96% average in school. In just one semester, I've been forced to find a new dream because I can't break 20% in any class I take, despite giving my all. I feel like a failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Toby - 21/02/2016 05:37 - United States - Sherman Oaks

Today, I realized that my crush's mother is more into me than my crush is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By loganthoren - 21/02/2016 05:36 - United States - Fort Washington

Today, I came out to my mom as bisexual. She downed the rest of her vodka, threw her glass in my face, and laughed, "Pick a side, homo!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Braellynn - 21/02/2016 05:11 - United States

Today, I was on a flight to Honolulu. Little did I know my period would start 2 weeks early, meaning I brought nothing. I bled through my pants onto the firstclass airplane seat. I left without a word and my shirt pulled low with my uterus lining on my butt into an airport filled with thousands. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bad day - 21/02/2016 05:10 - United States

Today, I missed my bus thanks to a crosswalk light which took forever. An hour later when the next bus came my bus card was declined so I had to use my last dollar. Then I discovered I'd gotten on the wrong bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 05:05 - United States

Today, my little sister thought it would be funny to hack my Steam account AND my Minecraft account and delete both. I had spent about 500 dollars between the two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Bored - 21/02/2016 04:54 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I was so bored, I actually hoped a telemarketer would call me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MallowMistress - 21/02/2016 04:48 - United States - Bartlesville

Today, I couldn't sleep for the fourth night due to illness. I can't even take sleep aiding cold medicine because it wakes me up, and makes me sick to my stomach. I work 10+ hour works days with children. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Andrew458 - 21/02/2016 04:48 - United States - Plano

Today, me and my girlfriend had a threesome. She ended up having sex with the other guy for an hour while I sat there and watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By butthairfordays - 21/02/2016 04:48 - United States - San Diego

Today I set up a date with a girl I met on the internet, as I was waiting on her to show up I ate an appetizers. What I didn't know was I am allergic to almonds and it caused my face to swell up. When my date showed up she accused me of "catfishing" her and she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By totally fucked - 21/02/2016 04:41 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, I headed into work after a one night stand, with the guy I met at the bar, imagine my surprise when I walk in only to find that he's the husband of my new GM. I think I might call in sick tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By blueeggsandham - 21/02/2016 04:37 - United States - Kalispell

Today, I woke up to my niece crawling in bed with me which I thought was really cute so I reached my arm out to snuggle her and it turns out she came over just to hit me in the eye FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By atrevz - 21/02/2016 04:33 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was sad and complaining to my boyfriend about how much weight I've put on recently. I wanted a compliment, so I asked him if he'd describe me as skinny or fat. He started with "fa-" until he saw my look of sadness and said "I was just being honest!". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By gabby - 21/02/2016 04:13 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my mother calls and I have to pick up. I end up having a 10 minute conversation about no sex or drugs while I'm still just sitting in his dick. Wasn't helping that he kept bursting out with laughter every 10 seconds. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 04:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today I had to use the bathroom during my SATs, but I couldn't leave the room during the middle of a section. Needlessly to say, I ended up pissing my pants and everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By happym - 21/02/2016 03:59 - United States - Houston

Today, we were at the indoor baseball field. I was walking with my mom when a fly ball came towards the two of us. She threw me in front of her and ducked. The ball hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 03:58 - United States - Brooklyn

So my best friends brother, who suffered from severe ceribral palsy and had bacterial pneumonia, passed away the other day at only 22 yrs old. I know the family has had some issues in the past, but I sent my condolences to their father via a fb message. He didn't know yet. He found out from me.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By happym - 21/02/2016 03:54 - United States - Houston

Today, I received a text inviting me to a party a half an hour after I fell asleep. They sent the text at 8:30pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By happym - 21/02/2016 03:49 - United States - Houston

Today, I cleaned up just in time for my judgmental grandma to come over. Confident in my work, I offered her a seat on the couch. When she sat down, one of my bras fell out from behind the cushion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By cody - 21/02/2016 03:25 - United States - Puyallup

Today, my snapchat glitch out on my saying I got a text from my now ex girlfriend of 3 months. It read, "I love you, happy we are a thing." I confessed my feeling saying I wanted her back. I just viewed a text from 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went grocery shopping at the store near my house. Upon checking out, I look up to see that my cashier is none other than the woman I went on a date with a few months ago, and whose calls and texts I ignored after she began to obsess over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 725

Today, my dad squirted water at me. Fortunately, I blocked it. Unfortunately, I blocked it with my new $200 camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 116

You deserved it 24 436

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 883

You deserved it 12 999

Today, I didn't have the courage to tell the guy who likes me that I only thought of him as a friend, so I asked my best friend to do it for me. It turns out that her way of doing this is telling him to "Fuck off" and then punching him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 12 451

Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 691

You deserved it 2 863

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed and took the pain medicine that the oral surgeon prescribed for me before bed. The pain actually did go away for the most part, until my stomach decided to betray me and make me throw up, forcing my jaw to open more than it could after surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 718

You deserved it 286