Nearly FMLs

By bmkbmkbadluck - 21/02/2016 19:47 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after being in the closet for three years, I finally came out to my best friend as a Lesbian. She proceeded to tell me it wouldn't change anything with us. Then the next time I saw her she wouldn't change clothes near me or let me hug her or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By HIGHqualityH2o - 21/02/2016 19:23 - United States - Duluth

Today, after coming home to my pot head stepsister and her friends playing dungeon and dragons, there was a stain from bong water on my brand new carpet, after confronting them about it they blamed it on the cat. we don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 19:22 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I'm going back to college after a visit home to de-stress for the weekend. Little did I know that during my visit, my car would break down causing me to be more stressed than when I left college in the first place. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By leahore711 - 21/02/2016 19:13 - United States - Raymondville

Last night I got a message from my ex saying that she missed me and she wanted to get back together when I finally had the courage to text back she said that it was her sister pulling a prank and she never loved me FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By tatusthejust - 21/02/2016 19:11 - United States - Phoenix

Today, forgetting that I had just had surgery on my nuts recently one of my friends "sack-tapped" me. I had to go to the ER to get my stitches redone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 19:06 - United States - Prescott Valley

Today, I saw an old friend again while at a restaurant with a group of friends and family. His first question was, "So how's rehab going?" The entire table fell silent in shock. I had told him that I work at a nursing and rehabilitation center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By barfinghamster - 21/02/2016 18:42 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got an offer from Verizon to upgrade our router to one of their newest models. My new Wi-Fi router is so bad I can't load anything 5 feet away from the router. I thought this was supposed to be an upgrade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ddeenniis - 21/02/2016 18:40 - United States - Rochester

Today,my boyfriend cooked dinner for me. Afterwards we got intimate with each other. Everything was going great until we decide to have oral sex and while he was ejaculating the lovely dinner he cooked ended up on his stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By tinudaindian - 21/02/2016 18:40 - United States - New York

Today, I dropped my iPhone and it shattered, but it was still under the 3 month Apple Care. Sadly I got the screen replaced for free from being picky about a small chip on the screen last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 18:40 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I found out how heavy of a sleeper I am. I woke up to a missing couch and a missing dining table. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By collegefinancialfails - 21/02/2016 18:39 - United States - Katy

Today, I received my tax return. It is a good $2000. Sounds great.....too bad I need to pay tuition which is $2500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mandieduh - 21/02/2016 18:35 - United States - Eden Prairie

Today, I had a 16 hr shift at a Perkins. I was so exhausted and programmed for work that when coming out of an aisle at Target I screamed "COMING OUT!" Like your supposed to do when exiting the kitchen. I scared an employee so bad that he dropped a box of mason jars shattering them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 18:32 - Philippines

Today I was eating at a food court and someone dumped their food and soda on top of my head shocked I turned around a saw a girl in front of me I gave her my best WTF expression. She apologized and told me she was dared by her best friends to dump her food on the loneliest looking guy she sees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Promadona - 21/02/2016 18:27 - United States

Today, I finally found out why my girlfriend has been mad at me for the past month. I never "officially" asked her to prom. I just assumed after dating since freshmen year we would be going together. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 18:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after my boyfriend buttered me up for sex, he asked me to help him get hard again. I decided to use my mouth but turns out the numbing lube from the condom he just opened landed on his junk so I got to enjoy sex with a partially numb lip and tongue and a disgusting taste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 18:02 - United States - Coupeville

Today, I was fooling around with a guy friend.I start going down on him and he starts to finger me, and slips one into my ass. As I get off we notice extra wetness. turns out liguified shit was all over the pillows and wall, not the squirting I thought. fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Poglia - 21/02/2016 17:45 - Italy - Torino

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because she's pregnant. I'm not an asshole, we just didn't have sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 0h_Boy - 21/02/2016 17:36 - United States - Northvale

Today, I had to pretend to still be asleep while my hotel roommate crossed "one night stand" off her bucket list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lilstromie - 21/02/2016 17:32 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I remembered seeing a chocolate bar on my desk before leaving for work and was looking forward to eating it all day. When I finally got home, I realized it was just an empty wrapper. I choc-blocked myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By wow - 21/02/2016 17:30 - United States - Miller Place

Today, my brother got back from a juvinile center after being there for 4 months. We decided to go to church and I told him to get in the car. He proceeded to say "Shut up, bitch!" He's 12.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Ellendyra - 21/02/2016 17:15 - United States - Washington

Today, my boyfriend's mother insisted on a drug test. Apprently, the only reason he would be too tired to drive home is date rape. The test came back negative, but that's not what she's telling everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By autoglasstech - 21/02/2016 17:15 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, while at work I had to replace a windshield. The lady who owns the car didn't clean anything out of the car. I threw out the garbage so that it was easier to work. I was then yelled at for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By appledeanna - 21/02/2016 17:08 - United States - Hialeah

Today, working as a pharmacist, a customer rudely complained about having to pay $12 for a prescription. Fed up, I pointed out that she probably had no problem paying for the expensive designer handbag she was carrying. She told me it was a gift from her husband before he died and started crying.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By ccat209 - 21/02/2016 17:06 - United States - Riverton

Today, I had a dream that my boyfriend was cheating on me, on our vacation. We go on vacation next week. Last week I had a dream I was at work and we got completely swamped and no one was prepared. Yesterday we had the most business we have ever had. I no longer want to go on vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mermello - 21/02/2016 16:59 - United States - Edmond

Today I was on the computer in the study. My mom and dad went into their bedroom, right next to the study, and I made eye contact with my dad before he closed the door and they started having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Futurevet2018 - 21/02/2016 16:51 - Saint Kitts and Nevis - Basseterre

Today, Ive had to stop speaking/texting my ex, who is one of my closest friends, because his wife thinks that we're having an affair. He lives in Alaska and I'm going to school in the Caribbean. We've resorted to communicating through the mail system in the online game we play together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By LilMissCanadian - 21/02/2016 16:49 - Canada - Nepean

Today, my mother compared me to Hitler because I was in a bad mood this morning. Apparently I'll be joining him in Hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Annapawlo - 21/02/2016 15:46 - Germany

Today, I wanted to ask my crush whether he'd go to the formal with me. I asked "Do you already have a partner for the dance?" and he said "yes". 5 minutes later my friend asked him and he said "I don't have anyone yet". He obviously didn't want me to ask him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Mind your own business - 21/02/2016 15:27 - Anonymous Proxy

Today, my 5yo son told me we need to take his big sister to hospital because her penis had fallen off and the doctors can sew it back on again. I had to explain the difference between boys and girls to a 5 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By b_free_8 - 21/02/2016 15:13 - United States - Liberty

Today, I was driving home from my girlfriends house, going the speed limit. A car going well over 100 caught up to me started tailgating me, and then moved over to the other lane to stay in my blind spot. The second I sped up to pull away from him he turned on his lights and pulled me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

We are pleased to introduce the latest addition to the FML video library: SHITFLIX! Listen carefully to the actors in this mashup of clips to figure out what movie they're describing. If you manage to guess right before the end, comment below!

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 162

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 078

You deserved it 5 215

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 800

You deserved it 4 315

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 679

You deserved it 34 861

Today, while I was at work, the cops were called for a wellness check on me because I'd blocked my bio father for being a pedophile. He'd called them on me, and I'm really embarrassed and upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 103

Today, I found out my brother-in-law did time last year for being a pedophile. His mommy told my spouse to tell no one that he served time. I'm the sister-in-law and no one told the sister who has young daughters. The pedo is mommy's precious boy who can't do wrong. He did this time. How dare mommy protect him like that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 74