Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 02/03/2016 00:34 - United States - Pinellas Park

Today, my family planned a vacation without me. They're bringing my seven-year-old and one-year-old brothers to the beach for the weekend, but they're leaving me here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By mse2018 - 02/03/2016 00:32 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I walked in on my bestfriend and her boyfriend making out. It wouldn't have been too bad if I wasn't sent in there to break them up from making out in the bathroom where I work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 02/03/2016 00:21 - United States - Knoxville

Today, one of my students stood and announced they were pregnant. When I said that was impossible, another student said "just because he's a boy doesn't mean he can't be pregnant, you feminist!" I teach biology in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By leafynitemare - 02/03/2016 00:16 - United States - North Hills

Today, at the Walmart I work at, a man was returning an item. He looked so familiar that I told him so. He said it was probably because a week ago he passed out several times falling onto several registers. Yep, that was him. Super awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By do-re-mi-fa-no - 02/03/2016 00:15 - United States - Clover

Today, I auditioned for our high school choir. I considered myself a good singer, but I was turned down because I "wasn't aesthetically pleasing for the group". TL;DR: I didn't get into choir because I'm apparently ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By 3R1Cyak - 02/03/2016 00:12 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was babysitting my baby brother, and my mom left her breastmilk in a bottle for me to feed to him. I was on my phone and reached for my water bottle but I accidentally drank from his bottle instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 02/03/2016 00:04 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I found out I am not only pregnant, but pregnant with triplets. I already have two kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By bmttwcs - 02/03/2016 00:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I got written up for being high at work. This was the first day I've been sober at work in 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By mackamuir - 01/03/2016 23:52 - Australia - Coorparoo

Today, my best friend got a new girlfriend, this would be OK, if she wasn't also my girlfriend. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 01/03/2016 23:35 - United States - Hampton

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked a job at Busch Gardens serving alcohol and I ALWAYS work hard. I notice a lot of time that some coworkers don't always check I.Ds properly which is required. I slip up for the first time and forgot to check a man's I.D. He was a secret shopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By TooTiredToFunction - 01/03/2016 23:32 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I stopped to get gas at the gas station I always go too. But that didn't stop me from insisting there was a problem with the gas pump because I forgot to lift the lever that lets the gas through. The cashier pumped my gas for me because apparently I'm too stupid to do it myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By tyraleeforbes - 01/03/2016 23:02 - United States - Port Jefferson

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant, then I find my boyfriend sleeping with my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By vaniivee - 01/03/2016 23:02 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I found out after seven years of no possibility of my tumor coming back, turns out it has. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Zettaa - 01/03/2016 22:56 - United States

Today, after trying to cut back on swearing, because my son is starting to copy what we say. My girlfriend walks in saying, " God fucking dammit, that bitch won't leave me alone ." He won't stop repeating her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Why, dad? - 01/03/2016 22:51

Today, after months of putting it off, I finally summoned the strength to look through my recently deceased father's laptop, hoping to find some pictures to remember him by. I found the pictures; what I didn't expect were the emails between him and my mother's sister, filled with naked pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By itsme - 01/03/2016 22:42 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my mom abandoned me at my dads house with nothing but a box of clothes and my dog. Apparently I'm useless now that I'm 18, because she will no longer be getting child support for me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 01/03/2016 22:36 - United States - Toledo

today, the piece of garbage who forced himself on me found out I'm putting our child up for adoption since nobody could make the charge stick, he is now counter suing for slander and demanding custody, my family thinks I should marry him fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By INeedBleach - 01/03/2016 22:29 - United States

Today, i came home from school and realized I had forgotten my keys while nobody would be home for 3 hours so I climbed in the kitchen window and got glass in my hand only to see my roommate sitting on the couch laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By anon - 01/03/2016 22:26 - United States - Cedar Falls

Today, I found out via text message that the girl I've been in love with for two years is actually a lesbian, and currently in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By ooo - 01/03/2016 22:20 - United States - Stillwater

Today, my mom made me stand in the corner for 15 minutes in front of my friends because we went outside with out telling her. I am 17 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By almost early to work - 01/03/2016 22:16 - United States - Sarasota

Today, I was on way to work with my mom. It started as a good day, we even left 5 minutes early! That would've been great had the kid who crashed into our car from behind didn't leave for school 5 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By asian_problems - 01/03/2016 22:11 - Canada - Markham

Today, I was in a rush to go meet up with this girl I've been into for a while. I went to piss and as I was pulling up my fly, I managed to zip my ball sack and cut my balls...my jeans cut my balls.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lordhelpme - 01/03/2016 22:07 - United States - Anaheim

Today, as I am recovering from a death in my family, I was pushed and tripped multiple times, my best friend refuses to speak to me, I failed three exams, my computer was hacked, and I was accused of a federal crime that I didn't commit, all within three hours. I wish I were exaggerating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Leauge - 01/03/2016 22:04 - United States - Russellville

Today, I was walking home from school and I got beat up for having a penis and not changing my gender. This has happened for the last month, no one believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By The_ghetto_mango - 01/03/2016 21:45 - United States - Peculiar

Today, I managed to accidentally blow cheese all over my new boss. I might need to find a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Mr. Smith - 01/03/2016 21:43 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, today I realized my 3rd grade students have more of a love life then I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By yandora - 01/03/2016 21:32 - United States - Shepherd

Today, I was happily drinking my chocolate milk when a jerk accidentally nudged my elbow causing my drink to spill on my white sweatshirt. I had to wear it all day smelling like a rotten boiled egg and looking like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By just sick - 01/03/2016 21:26 - Australia

Today, I heard a rumour about myself being on ice due to my "track marks". These track marks are from me having several rounds of chemo due to having Hodgkin's disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sicko - 01/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Winchester

Today, after keeping my eating disorder secret for many years, i finally got busted. Thanks to a faulty lock, someone caught me with my fingers down my throat. It was my 13 year old daughter. I'm a 30 year old man. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lonewhitekid - 01/03/2016 21:14 - United States - Brentwood

Today, at lunch, my friends asked me what white people eat, me being the only white person at my table. I still don't know why they asked me that, or what I should have responded with other than "Um.... Food, I think." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I was diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder, meaning that I involuntarily fly into a rage without provocation. It's only controlled by healthy eating and sleeping. I work too much to get any sleep, I don't make enough money to eat well, and my disorder limits my ability to find a job that pays more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 376

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 249

You deserved it 5 121

Today, on my day off, despite working a night shift the night before I was up early to clean and cook all day to spoil my boyfriend. At 10 p.m. when I finally settled down into the bathtub, my phone rang. It was work, asking where I was for my shift. I didn't have the day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 464

You deserved it 3 907

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 041

You deserved it 7 786

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 411

You deserved it 3 063

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy six months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 411

You deserved it 235