Nearly FMLs

By crossingtheline - 15/04/2016 02:31 - United States

Today, I have fully committed to moving four hours away with my boyfriend. My last day at my job is next week and we're moving after that. We're both getting promotions we can't pass up. Today I found out he is probably cheating on me with some slut from work. I love him too much to leave. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By tabi11200309 - 15/04/2016 02:27 - United States - Nashville

Today, my husband refuses to sleep with me after the incident from the night before. I'm 8 months pregnant and woke up after I apparently peed my myself in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By pissedoff - 15/04/2016 02:23 - United States - Bronx

Today, someone in my homeroom thought it would be a good idea to hide my lunch as a joke and cram it in my binder. My homework, and about 85% of my looseleaf and study sheets, are now soggy and fully unusable. Thanks for the 17% decrease in my grades in ONE day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By SDJM666 - 15/04/2016 02:19 - United States - La Vergne

Today, I confessed to a close friend that I had been thinking of suicide and that I've been self harming. Her response? To tell everyone at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By i hate being poor - 15/04/2016 02:19 - United States - King George

Today, I am filling in my 12th scholarship application out of the 15 that my mom insists I need to apply for. She insists I need to apply for them, even though she knows I've already been given a full ride from my first choice school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Im20ThisIsShit - 15/04/2016 02:14 - United States - Columbus

Today, I'm getting ready to move back home from the summer. Goodbye college freedom, hello 10:00pm curfew. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By BuzzingTheNews - 15/04/2016 02:14 - United States - Flint

Today, I discovered for the first time what it feels like to get stung by a bee. Inside of your ear. I also discovered I have a bee allergy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Granios - 15/04/2016 01:58 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, after days of trying to resolve a problem with my grades being wrong I finally got it fixed. I then had all A's, and was proud of myself. Then I had a suprise pretest (A test you take before you learn about something) that brought me down to a C in one class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By This, that, and, what? - 15/04/2016 01:50 - United States - Wyoming

Today, I got a bad grade on a paper I wrote. When I asked my teacher why it was so bad he said it was because I didn't use an Oxford Comma. This coming from the man who said we shouldn't use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Yatagurusu - 15/04/2016 01:14 - United Kingdom - Rochester

Today, I was sitting with my crush, when the subject of Minecraft porn came up, she didn't believe me when I said I didn't watch it or any porn. She also didn't believe everyone else on the table who said they had watched it 'for the lols. Now she thinks I'm a freaky gamer guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By GingerSnap98 - 15/04/2016 01:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I wore too tight of pants that gave me a good looking butt to try to impress my boyfriend. Turns out, if you wear tight pants for a long time it eventually can cause you to have diarrhea and almost shit your pants. Real impressive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 00:58 - Japan

Today, my long distance fiancé who I rarely see flew from the Netherlands to Japan to visit. An hour after his landing, my period started. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 00:53 - United States - Athens

I called my girlfriend from my friends phone because I had left mine at home. I dial her number and say "hey babe". Before I could say anything she says "hey baby you calling about my ad?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 0

By crownedcrazy - 15/04/2016 00:49 - United States - Little Neck

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try some pants a size smaller than what I usually wear because I've lost some weight recently and my pants have gotten baggy on me. She screamed at me saying I can't try them because I haven't lost any weight and I'm still a fatass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By deafdude - 15/04/2016 00:44 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my girlfriend of 4 month broke up with me because I'm "not a good listener" I'm deaf. She never even tried to learn ASL. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 0

By RadXFalloutNV - 15/04/2016 00:36 - United States

Today, I took my license test. Everything was going fine until at the very end of the test, parking back into the DMV parking lot I tapped the fence. Counts as an accident so I fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By whyyyyymejesus - 15/04/2016 00:32

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for actively being a hoe and flirting with other girls. One hour after we broke up, he started dating my stepsister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By BalloonAnimals - 15/04/2016 00:24 - United States - Land O Lakes

Last night I set my alarm at 6:00 am so I could get ready for work because I was already late before a few times. I woke up at 7:43. My alarm was set for 6:00 pm and I was fired. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 00:20 - United States - Murray

Today, I got a phone call from a college I applied to while taking the school bus home. The bus driver told me to get off the phone but since it was important, I didn't and am now suspended from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Owen - 15/04/2016 00:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I went to my friend's house who lives with his grandma. We were watching tv and forgot about his grandma. I knocked over a coke with my elbow, spilling it on my balls and let out some cuss words. His grandma comes in and literally pulls down my PANTS and starts SPANKING me HARD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By That_Teenager_ - 15/04/2016 00:12 - United States - Hampshire

Today, my brother, whom I've had no contact with for a while, texted me for the first time this year. It was a picture of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By littlekellilee - 15/04/2016 00:12 - Canada - Sylvan Lake

Today, I realized the extent of my fear of talking to new people when I accidentally opened Siri for the first time and got a full blown panic attack while trying to figure out how to respond to her offer for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By hurt - 14/04/2016 23:47 - United States - Boise

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She took one look at me and told him he should leave me because I am "too skinny and lack proper birthing hips." I am recovering from bulimia and she knows it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By SuccessfulFailure - 14/04/2016 23:40 - United States - Haymarket

Today, I finished working on the complex and intricately-designed puzzle cube I've been working on for six months. When I went to put it together, I realized I forgot how to solve it. It turns out, several of the puzzle pieces aren't correctly made, and I now have to remake the entire puzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By rockbottom - 14/04/2016 23:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my two year old and I became homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 0

By connedagain - 14/04/2016 23:32 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I found myself debating whether I'm more disappointed in myself for trusting my brother and assuming something he'd sell me is in working order, or more disappointed in him for taking £150 then watch me spend another £100 on games for the console and not say a word about it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By hahaokok - 14/04/2016 23:31 - United States - Watertown

Today, I came home from a year long deployment only to find my wife five months pregnant. Now I'm not a mathematician, but I figured that one out, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By i-do-exist - 14/04/2016 23:29 - United States - Norristown

Today, I was all prepared to come out to my mom as bisexual. Today is also the day I found out that my mom doesn't think that bisexuality exists and bi people are just "gay people who are more open-minded". Not how it works, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By paintball_guy - 14/04/2016 23:16 - United States - Whittier

Today, as i entered school, the security guard told me that my shirt violated dress code and I could not enter with out changing. With no ride home, I had no choice but to take a two hour walk home to change, then walk all the way back to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By ProtoBird - 14/04/2016 23:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I finally got moved in to my new house. The last owner had three large dogs, but apparently no intention to clean up the yard one last time before leaving. Or a first time, by the look of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my son threw a temper tantrum and told me I “should have aborted him” and threatened to run away from home. Why? Because I nicely asked him to share his french fries with his sister. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 260

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 437

You deserved it 31 307

Today, I spent my last day at the hospital for a long epilepsy test. Apparently, I don't have epilepsy at all, but I do have extreme stress. This means that I've been taking several anti-seizure medications that ruined my college plans and made me sick for half a year, all for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 174

You deserved it 4 586

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 161

You deserved it 29 680

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 785

You deserved it 3 288

Today, I’ve suffered my whole life with a bunch of genetic conditions and I found out why at my dad's funeral. A bunch of relatives from America attended and one of them secretly told me my parents emigrated to England under a cloud of shame because they were brother and sister. I’m inbred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 128