Nearly FML

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 22:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, while at my work at a supermarket, someone didn't plug in the fridge that contains all of the fish. So I had to spend the next hour cleaning out week old rotten fish out of the fridge.

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By anonymous - 17/04/2016 22:17 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was looking for a job online. I emailed the links to myself, only to find out later that I misspelled the email. It took me hours to find them, and now I can't find them again. FML.

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By hereforfmls - 17/04/2016 22:09 - United States - Jasper

Today, I was playing a videogame when I noticed 5 flying insects near my window. went and got insect killer turned out I had a termite infestation and there was over one hundred flying termites FML

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By katydid91 - 17/04/2016 21:52 - United States - Dallas

Today, My IBS decided to flare up. In the middle of the line for security check at the airport. I've been stuck on the toilet for the last 15 minutes. FML.

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By anonyme - 17/04/2016 21:49 - United States - Colton

Today, I walked outside for the first time in a week after being sick to enjoy some fresh air. when a gnat flew into my eye and fought violently to survive its mistake. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 21:43 - Chile - Santiago

Today, after a thorough brainwashing carried out by his family, my 30-year-old fiance decided he could not be trusted make personal decisions. FML

agreeclassic 3

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By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 21:39 - United States - Bonita Springs

Today I discovered that my girlfriend's "day job" is a camgirl. I'm not sure if I should be angry that Internet pervs see her naked more than I do or be jealous that, working 8 hours a week, she pulls down 5 times what I make working 40+ hour weeks.

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By samm - 17/04/2016 21:24 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I was shooting hoops with my boyfriend at the park. He shot the ball and rather than hitting the hoop , he hit my face. I got a black eye, bloody nose, my lip ring came out and my glasses broke. In the middle of public. FML

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By Emperor_416 - 17/04/2016 21:11 - United States - Bensalem

Today, my sister got us both kicked out of the house. How, you ask? She bitched to our mom for hours about how bored she was, but instead of just saying she was bored, she said her and I were bored. I never made a single mention of being bored. FML

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By fast food sucks - 17/04/2016 20:45 - United States - Hopewell Junction

Today, an old lady came into the McDonald's I work at and tried to pay with pennies. After counting them for 10 minutes, I realized they were Canadian pennies and we couldn't accept them anyway. FML

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By fandomoftheopera - 17/04/2016 20:33 - United States - Apopka

Today, while working in the Doggy Day Camp, my phone fell in the shit bucket. FML

agreeclassic 1

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By ouch - 17/04/2016 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally got a cast on the arm I broke four days ago. My mum has been making me go to school and do chores with it unprotected because she didn't believe it was broken. I broke it because she thought it would be funny to scare me while I was walking down our stone stairs.

agreeclassic 3

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By felicialynnnn - 17/04/2016 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after locking myself out and while waiting for my boyfriend to return home and unlock the door, I had to watch helplessly as my three-year-old managed to uncap blue food coloring and squeeze its contents onto my brand new carpet. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 20:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today,while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he said in the middle of it, "Okay it's getting late, I have to call my mom." We are both in our 20's. FML

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By Notzimia - 17/04/2016 20:10 - United Kingdom - Ammanford

Today, at the gym, when I was really starting to enjoy my workout and feel motivated to exercise, my stomach hit the emergency stop button. FML.

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By onlyme25 - 17/04/2016 19:57 - United States - Panama City

Today, it's not uncommon for me to wake up and have to clean a shitty bed. My daughter is not quite two yet. It is however very uncommon for me to wake up and there be shit in my own bed. My husband is 33. FML.

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By jjr - 17/04/2016 19:42 - United States - White Plains

Today i was going down on my boyfriend when his mom suddenly called to say she was coming upstairs.Turns out, she had one of those creepy teddy bear nanny cams hidden in the room...and made us watch the footage FML.

agreeclassic 2

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By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 19:25 - United States - Roxboro

Today, as I was using the bathroom, I went to wipe and my engagement ring fell off of my finger and into the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 2

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By Nico - 17/04/2016 19:21 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today I have an important exam which will contribute to my final year grade. Last night my father got drunk and played music until 5 am, giving me an hours sleep before I had to get up for school. Im too tired to focus, but too embarrassed to explain the situation to my teacher for a retake.

agreeclassic 2

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By funfat - 17/04/2016 19:15 - United Kingdom - Camberley

Today, I was punched in the face by a random guy on the street. He claimed that I had stolen his girl. It turns out that my identical twin who lives with me was the one to blame. FML

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By shy girl - 17/04/2016 18:50 - United States - Dothan

Today, my boss made me give a tour to a group of college students although it is her job. I'm terrified of public speaking and she knows this. Three minutes into the tour my mind went blank. The instructor with them spoke up and said, "and that is why you take public speaking." FML

agreeclassic 2

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By noname - 17/04/2016 18:47 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my overheard my daughter complaining to her friend that I wouldn't let her get implants. She's 6.

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By heidelynn - 17/04/2016 18:44 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I woke up sick and I've been throwing up all day. Today is also the day my period decided to start. I can no longer tell the difference between cramping and needing to through up. FML

agreeclassic 2

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By _WeZyAf - 17/04/2016 18:26 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I sent my crush a snapchat of my full face, he replied back with "what filter is that?" FML.

agreeclassic 2

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By Experteric - 17/04/2016 18:23 - United States

Today, I was at an After-Prom party, and afterward, walked a female friend to her vehicle afterwards. I opened the door and was very gentlemanly. I said goodbye, and closed the door. Directly on her foot. FML

agreeclassic 2

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By salii321 - 17/04/2016 18:13 - Australia

Today, while serving at the checkout at work the customer sneezed. He then proceeded to give me his items...which were wet. I couldn't was my hands for three hours. FML

agreeclassic 2

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By rockbottomgirl - 17/04/2016 18:11 - United States - Blacklick

Today, the love of my life & best friend of 16 years left me and kicked me out after moving in 3 weeks ago. Seems the 20 year old, ex-stripper he met 2 months ago and made a roommate seemed a better option than his promise to help me recover from an addiction to a drug he brought into my life. FML.

agreeclassic 3

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By justmeh169 - 17/04/2016 18:09 - United States - Point Pleasant

Today, instead of sending to my best friend a message about me being liking a girl on my softball team, I sent it to our teams group chat. FML.

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 1

By Bellaalise - 17/04/2016 17:54 - United States - Fairfield

today, I tried asking a guy out that I really liked. I got him his favorite candy and a card and flowers. when I knocked on his door a girl answered. the girl was his girlfriend. FML.

agreeclassic 2

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By ellisp1 - 17/04/2016 17:52 - United States - Omaha

Today, I was showering. I slipped, and on they way down I grabbed the curtain rod. In addition to ripping it out of the wall, I plunged it into the side of the bathroom. It would be okay to fix, if it didn't make a hole through my bathroom right into my neighbor's bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 2

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

agreeclassic 41 857

vote type 1 5 295

Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML

agreeclassic 3 592

vote type 1 254

Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML

agreeclassic 30 448

vote type 1 3 170

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

agreeclassic 26 730

vote type 1 41 262

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said, "Good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was, "Just wank it off and move on." FML

agreeclassic 27 664

vote type 1 3 028

Today, I found out that whenever a mistake is made at my work, my boss assumes that it was me, unless indicated otherwise, but he has never said anything to me about it because of my 'learning disorder'. I don't have a learning disorder. FML

agreeclassic 32 518

vote type 1 2 674