Nearly FMLs

By what the heck is AMPS - 05/07/2017 10:13

Today I found out that I've been diagnosed with "amplified musculoskeletal pain syndrome" or fibromyalgia.... my parents and grandparents still don't believe it's real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 6

By "blargerpanda" - 05/07/2017 09:51

Today, my now exgirlfriend called me to break up because I work too much to spend any time together. Also today I was fired from my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 5

By R2shifty - 05/07/2017 09:25

Today, I went out to eat with a friend and recognized a really cute girl working behind the counter. My friend and I both ordered and when we received our food, she had written her number on his napkin. He can't use it either since he already has a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 05/07/2017 09:08

I realized a guy I met is probably the love of my life. I've been dating his older brother for the past 3 months.

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 12

By Oops - 05/07/2017 07:46

Today, because the tubes look similar, I accidentally brushed my teeth with my yeast infection medicine. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 33

By Sexually Frustrated - 05/07/2017 07:17

Today... my boyfriend and I were in what I thought was an intense sexting session. He suddenly stopped replying, so I figured he left to masturbate. The following morning I got a text from him that said "fell asleep sorry" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 15

By khsinaK - 05/07/2017 07:15

Today, on the suggestion of our friend, me and my family set off to an trip for a dam. When we reached there, we were informed that touring to that dam was banned just the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 05/07/2017 04:40

Today, I realized that my ex-boyfriend is going to throw a party because we broke up 3 days ago...I still live in his house...

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 7

By Fish food - 04/07/2017 22:32 - United States - Coplay

Today, I took my family out on my new boat to celebrate the Fourth of July. Along with fireworks, my brother brought a half stick of dynamite. Guess who's $40,000 boat is now at the bottom of the lake? FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 10

By "Sonofaquiche" - 05/07/2017 04:14

Today, i got stuck in a traffic jam. Naturally i sent a picture to my boss, telling him I'd be late. He didn't believe me since he saw the same picture on some guys blog. My blog. The blog i use to vent about the stupid people in my life. including, but not limited to... my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 38

By Why??? - 04/07/2017 19:29 - United States - Bronx

Today, I was lying down on my bed when I felt something tickling my neck. Thinking it was a loose hair, I reached down to pull it off of me, except...it wasn't a hair. It was the beginning of a spider web, along with the tiny dangling spider itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 4

By BadBanff - 05/07/2017 00:55

Today, en route to the airport for a 5 hour flight, I pulled off to admire a beautiful mountainside lake. As I was standing on a loose log suspended over the water to take a picture, some asshole hopped on as well, sending me swimming. I had to wear the freezing wet clothes for my flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 24

By Katalinca - 05/07/2017 00:17

Today I posted a racy pic on instagram. Only after 30 minutes did I realise that you could see my entire boob peaking out under my arm. Save to say Now all my fam and friends have seen my tit and I'm getting a lot of un-wanted sexual attention as a result. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 88

By Whytho - 04/07/2017 21:48

Today, I misstepped and sprained my ankle for the third time in a month. It feels worse than the last two times. I'm going on holiday tomorrow where I'm going to be reliable on a car, driven my me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 04/07/2017 20:58

Today the A/C broke, freezer broke, washer broke & then our tree fell on the neighbors fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 4

By "kaylacrider18" - 04/07/2017 17:57

Today, I go into work and they ask for my Dr. note. Yesterday, I told them I was sick throwing up. I only said it because I didn't have a ride. Today, I actually do feel like throwing up. Yay, five more hours to go...FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 56

By Crappy Day - 04/07/2017 16:24

Today, as part of my internship I was working out with the strength and conditioning staff. I crapped my pants mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 04/07/2017 15:19

Today, I woke up at 9 AM sharp, excited to go get doughnuts with my family. I found out they decided to leave without me when I didn't come downstairs in exactly 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 15

By xpandax26 - 04/07/2017 14:07

I was on my iPad showing my idea for my art project to my teacher when a notification for a snapchat group chat popped up. Of course the name of the group was 'dick suck only $10'. Why do my friends do this to me?

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 14

By Rex - 04/07/2017 11:14

Today I was dreaming that I had phlegm and really needed to spit. So I hocked up a good loogie and spit into the gutter as I crossed the street. I was immediately woken up with my face and pillow covered in saliva. Turns out I spit in real life too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 15

By oops - 04/07/2017 01:02 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I made a kik account with a sexually explicit username to talk to a guy. I didn't realize it would send notifications to people in my address book. Someone noticed right away. I pretended it was a new number and quickly deactivated the account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 53

By Shittyemployee - 04/07/2017 09:16

Today, at my retail job I just happened to the be the closest employee as a women got sick and pooped herself. I spent the next two hours cleaning up liquid shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 7

By "ipissinbottles" - 04/07/2017 08:36

I came home drunk and tired so I was lazy and pissed in a bottle. The next morning I woke up and took a gulp of the nearest bottle I saw...

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 90

By barfingmoon - 04/07/2017 06:47

Today is the second day of my honeymoon at a resort in Mexico. It's also my second day of uncontrollable puking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 6

By saddude - 04/07/2017 06:42

Today I got on the 4 hour bus ride to my friends house to stay for 4 days, and I have already paid for the return trip. Halfway there he calls and tells me to turn around because i can't stay at his place anymore. Um.... I cant? Well hopefully I can find somewhere to stay for the next 4 days. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 4

By Ayumimj - 04/07/2017 04:25 - United Kingdom - London

Today it's my birthday. I was dreading the day but hoping it wouldn't be so bad. I ended up waking up with diarrhoea. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 6

By moodyreallyrocks - 04/07/2017 04:07

Today, for our tenth wedding anniversary, me and my wife have decided to file for divorce..FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 7

By iwannagohome - 04/07/2017 02:40

Today I went out to some bars with my cousin, who I was staying with for the weekend. We decided to crash at her friends place after too much drinking and her friend set up the extra bed in her room for me. Her and a guy started having sex 5 feet from me when they thought I was sleeping...FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 11

By just__fml - 03/07/2017 19:05 - United States

I'm on vacation with my "best friend." Instead of going sightseeing together like we were supposed to, she ditched me at the hotel to go with some guy she met at a bar last night instead.

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 04/07/2017 00:03

Today, I, amongst several others got layed off. This wouldn't be so bad, except that the production manager pretended she had no idea until the meetings. The reason I know she was pretending? she works in the same office as the guy that fired us, is engaged to the head of HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 4

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The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 961

You deserved it 5 211

Today, I've noticed a pattern with my classmates: Every time a new student shows up, they are treated by my classmates as though they've known each other for years. Everyone except me. When I first came along, I was more or less a wallflower. No one wanted anything to do with me. The same is true today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 164

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 777

You deserved it 2 183

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 116

You deserved it 1 195

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 495

You deserved it 4 792

Today, after going to bed at a decent time last night so I could get up early, I overslept. Not only that, I thought today was the day of my job interview, so I rushed to get ready and go. As I parked in the parking lot, I realized today was the day before said interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 476