Nearly FMLs

By TylerR4 - 22/01/2018 13:22

Today, I spent 45 minutes waiting for the bus. Turns out, I waited outside in the pouring rain for nothing. I have no school today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 25

By "Mossy55" - 22/01/2018 11:56

Today I came back home from studying abroad for 5 years. I have a little sister who grew up while I was away, but she became bigger than me. My face just reaches her chest. She's 15 and 6ft, I'm 24 and 5ft. Now she doesn't stop teasing me how she's always wanted a little brother. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 3

By Undercover_Agent - 22/01/2018 07:01

Today, I had open heart surgery. An hour after I woke up from the procedure, I let a few people know that it went well. Minutes later, my manager called me to talk to me about minor problems at work. He said I, “sounded groggy.” Nice to know they still expect me to work from the hospital. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 6

By Smooth - 21/01/2018 22:14

Today, I fell off of my toilet after wiping. Nobody was home, my kneecap was popped out of place, and I couldn’t get up. I laid on my bathroom for 2 hours with a shit smell while I waited for my mom to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 21/01/2018 21:47

Today, I went to help my boyfriend do his taxes but the computer wouldn't turn on. We then found out our roommate who got kicked out stole the power cord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 4

By "ggg" - 21/01/2018 18:40

Today, my parents told me that we are moving across the country. The first thing I thought of was my boyfriend of one year. I cried and cried and they changed their mind so I could stay with him. 30 minutes later, when I was about to tell him, he broke up with me unexpectedly with no explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 21

By "BoogasBabe" - 21/01/2018 14:50

Today, my ex dumped me, left me stranded with no money, sent my nudes everywhere including to the corporate bosses for the company I just got a job at, and then slashed the tires on my company car. He still says he loves me with all his heart, even though he ruined my career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 24

By me - 21/01/2018 11:45

Today, I'm on holiday because my family wouldn't let me stay at home because it would make their holiday bad without me. Now they are angry at me for making them have a bad holiday because I’m not having fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 17

By cheapskate - 21/01/2018 07:18

Today, I went on a date with a guy I have had a crush on. He ordered his food - with all the pricey add ons. Trying to be sensitive I find the cheapest edible thing. When the check showed up, he doesn’t even reach for it. Guess who ended up paying? Yup, I’m out $60 - and HE asked ME out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 20

By "That1Girl" - 21/01/2018 06:17

Today, I was on a date with a good looking guy I met at work. While in his car, I happened to see a sketch book so he offered to show me some of his work. Page after page were paintings of the same colors and patterns. He told me they were all his ex's vaginae. And they were recent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 9

By asuramaru - 20/01/2018 23:40 - Australia

Today, despite being on the pill, my period came early - for the first time in the three years since I started the contraceptive. I was on a road trip with my brother and father, with no easily accessible change of pants. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 5

By Failed First Impression - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I met my brother’s new girlfriend for the first time. Not only did I have to listen to their obnoxiously loud moaning for half an hour while studying for an exam, but when he came out and started chatting with me, he accidentally called me “baby girl”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 5

By flash - 20/01/2018 19:24 - Australia

Today, I made a joke about being a third wheel with my flatmate and his new girlfriend. Thinking that my flatmate was going to make it up to me, he offered to take me out for a beer. Turns out I was meeting her parents with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 8

By richleys - 20/01/2018 18:08 - United States - Odenville

Today, I realized just how lonely I was when I was too afraid to open a bag of chips because it might have woken up a sleeping baby on Grey’s Anatomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 35

By Anonymous - 21/01/2018 08:22 - Australia - Maidstone

Today, I made an official complaint about my opponent not following the service rules in a game a badminton. It turns out he has a disability which forces this, so now I look like an ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 22

By SpicySufferer - 20/01/2018 21:27

Today, I ate incredibly spicy peppers. I then threw them up, coating my mouth, nose, and throat in spicy stomach acid. An hour later I shit the rest out later to my delight. I'm still suffering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 35

By "ErinShannon" - 20/01/2018 16:33

Today, my dog was barking while outside so I went to check why. Ended up coming face to face with a 6 foot eastern brown snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 7

By Yordle Snap Trap victim - 20/01/2018 15:59

Today, I got written up for conspiracy and is on the brink of getting fired. What did I do? I fell for a trap, in the form of an Employee Satisfaction Survey, which they claim to be treated as "anonymous and confidential". FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 20/01/2018 04:15 - Australia

Today I had to pretend to have a boyfriend so the kid I was babysitting would stop trying to impress me. I gave him the name 'Harold' and then realised that was the same name as the kid. He was stoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 100

By mama's boy - 20/01/2018 08:49

Today, when I got home, I was berated for never having fun, or friends over. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I would be the laughing stock of my friends group if they knew that at age 20, I still have a strict 8:30 bedtime while my 16 y/o sister got it lifted 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 29

By Anonymous - 19/01/2018 18:14 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I got my car repaired, at a hotel with a woman I've been sleeping with. She had to call her fiance to pick her up. I got my ass kicked and I'm 100 miles from home with no ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 81

By Embarrassment redefined - 19/01/2018 18:22

Today, I fell off a chair while having a meal with colleagues. Fifteen of us. Including my boss. And my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 9

By Grey - 19/01/2018 16:44

Today, to start off the semester, I walked into my accounting class to find the professor I had chosen who had a 4.9/5 star rating had been switched out with a professor who had a 2.4/5. His reviews include a student saying STAY AWAY AT ALL COSTS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 9

By "mrsmisled519121" - 18/01/2018 20:08

Today, I found a text between my husband and his best friend saying "my future ex wife is a c*nt," because I was mad about finding other girls nudes on his phone. Apparently this marriage is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 15

By Outdated - 18/01/2018 12:36 - Canada - Kirkland Lake

Today, my boyfriend told me before our dinner date that he was tight on cash and I should mind what I order. I end up with a hot dog and water and he decides to get a full burger platter with poutine and a beverage. So much for cheap? FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 13

By Elizabeth Poole - 18/01/2018 14:08

Today, the guy I've liked for over a year, says I'm the most beautiful girl he's seen, that he has feelings for me, and that he wants to date me... but he doesn't want to hurt his girlfriends feelings by breaking up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 14

By mee - 18/01/2018 04:25

Today, my doctor ordered me to cut 100% of my favorite foods completely out of my diet, for the rest of my life. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 19

By English teacher - 17/01/2018 21:50 - Spain - Marbella

Today, I already had google up and was using google images as flash cards to teach vocabulary. When teaching the compass and "Naughty Elephants Squirt Water", a student asked what squirt was in Spanish. I typed it in and google projected a plethora of pornographic images to my students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 46

By "Nico Derm" - 17/01/2018 21:36

Today, I was walking, holding hands with my new girlfriend. As we walked up to her work window, she let my hand go and said " I don't want them to think I'm straight, I'm gay." and let go of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 9

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out that when a cat loses a fight with a swarm of bees, the swelling from the stings can make it look like a cartoon character. My cat's nose looks like Operation Man's nose, and his paws are comically massive. I feel so horrible for laughing, but the vet bill will bring me back to reality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 187

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to date other people, but still wants to be with me. He said, “Yes I want to be with you, but maybe we can both find better.” I found out he’s been texting another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 110

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 865

You deserved it 3 627

Today, I received a $20 gift card to Tim Horton's as a prize, and decided to use it. At the register, I was told that I'd essentially won an empty gift card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 090

You deserved it 4 131

Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 116

You deserved it 6 058

Today, I work 732 miles away from my wife and three children, and I rarely get to go home. After giving up many hours of family time to work on my last home visit, I returned to work only to have my boss accuse me of stealing time, dock me 50 hours, and "review" my employment for termination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 235

You deserved it 1 565