Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I summoned the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask for a raise. He yelled at me, called me “ungrateful”, asked how dare I ask him such a question, and that I’m lucky to even have a job in the first place. I ended up reduced to tears. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I walked into my boss's office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML
Today, I finally mustered the courage to ask my boss for a raise. I confidently walked into his office, ready to present my case, only to trip over the edge of a rug and fall onto his desk, scattering papers and stuff everywhere. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML
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Top comments
NoOneLovesYou 13
Welp, it sounds like your boss is an asshole.
MissWhitneyB 17
She didn't have to be rude about it. A "no" would've been enough. Some bosses are assholes just because they know they can be one.
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Comments (123)
NoOneLovesYou 13
Welp, it sounds like your boss is an asshole.
alexwow1 13
The boss is on her peripd
Toasty283 8
C'mon man, menstrual cycle jokes aren't funny PERIOD
brackaman 18
I dunno, I think she sounds more like a ******** to me.
etoilenuit 15
Yea time to look for a new job. Why stay in a job where you cant progress no matter how much hard work you do? Someone else will appreciate you more.
Sfaizi24 17
Not that easy to find a new job all of a sudden. And if op has been working there as long as they had, they probably like their job and/or are receiving good pay
ex_stripper_jk 20
It sounds like you have the boss from "Workaholics."
MissWhitneyB 17
She didn't have to be rude about it. A "no" would've been enough. Some bosses are assholes just because they know they can be one.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Well I would think this would be illegal. I'm sure he could get her in trouble over it. But he may end up losing his job, or being stuck working under the person he just got in trouble, who'd probably make his life a living hell.
buckerado 19
This is a moment in which OP should send out as many job applications as possible. If and when he receives an offer, slam that down on the boss's desk and say,"I want a raise or else I'm leaving." It's a win-win because he'll either get a raise or a new job...That is only if someone gives OP an offer.
CallMeWindSock 24
Op's boss was being very unprofessional, and could actually get in some trouble for this.
RedPillSucks 31
Only if there were witnesses.
kurodansei 16
Are you a gigolo? If so that is not an unnaceptable condition for a raise.
dinosxxrawr 22
shouldn't have gotten down on your knees. looking up at him without blinking.
justmyswag 9
The boss is a woman.
dinosxxrawr 22
I completely missed that part. would have been the perfect opportunity.
iLike2Teabag 27
Wutchu talkin bout, Willis!?
jpest17 5
Exactly, if it was a man though it could be taken seriously.
Confruzzled 10
What a dick.
illegalbeagle69 23
yes she is
malfanese 6
Guess she is what she eats?
vballgirly28 16
And she couldn't have just said no for what reason? But that sucks OP. You have quite a weird boss.
TheDrifter 23
Six years without a raise? I know times are tough, but damn.
Savagelyshawna 8
This reminds me of the movie Horrible Bosses. I hope you're not secretly plotting revenge.
ydi_4_suking 20
I hope OP is plotting revenge
nurchok 15
Revenge is fine, just can't be a murderous one... Think of a way of embarrassing her in front of others after you find a new job. Best of luck
maniaccy 8
You will then reply with, "and I'm gonna need you suck that dick clean for me"...
YUMMYFRENCHFRIES 16
All rightie…