vet1
Pretoria, South Africa
Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML
Top comments
aaron123111 11
Wtf did I just read? You had to toss off a dog?
MissMae93 23
I'm trying to figure out when you would actually need to know how to do this...
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Comments (212)
flashback.miss 28
~Trust the canine touch~~
michaelm1290 23
Maybe one day it will come in 'handy'
HKCgrimmjow 15
Did you atleast buy the dog dinner furrst? I guess that's one bone the dog didn't mind sharing!
hemz_fml 13
I never knew that was even a thing
Ambient25 24
LOL that's another way to give the dog a "treat" I guess
feelingold 18
But did he call you the next day?
Koppol 15
If you can beat them, join them.
CoGhostRider 31
Resistance is futile. You will look
hessel 13
#67 why are you having a profile picture of the dutch santa claus while you are english?
rememberkids 14
#110 cause Dutch Santa is way cooler than coca cola Claus! Besides, Dutch Santa has a sidekick: Black Peter!
feelingold 18
Even sinterklass has to have a private life. And I like the big apple.
ermagherdaturdis 26
67 is American. *Shakes head slowly at your fail.*
sigurd 11
He isn't even English, he is American(?). #110
aaron123111 11
Wtf did I just read? You had to toss off a dog?
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
This has me rethinking veterinary school.
ShyAnn29 14
I took a vet class, and I never had to do that! That doesn't sound right to me, why would you have to do that!? Of course, this was just a vet assisting class I took.
ShyAnn29 14
Ok I just read the comments to post 3, now it makes sense.
gotaplanstan 28
32...what exactly does Matt Bonner have to do with this?!
Eorlas 31
78... he had to do it because he's studying to become a dr, not just assisting
ShyAnn29 14
86, I know, what I meant was that was most likely why I never had to do that.
thatkidhesh 11
pornhub strikes again folks.
tehdarkness 21
More like spankwire!
AngrySailor 17
Remember to cup the gonads...
wvcheesehead1 9
Did the instructor ask the class to applaud.. or just give you a hand.
InsanePPG 25
I was going to say that, but you beat me to it. ^_^
sonnyrosa 32
Well, I guess when you get jerked off my the assistant vet, it's just not the same
MissMae93 23
I'm trying to figure out when you would actually need to know how to do this...
EverestMelting 23
I second this. Maybe it's a medical school thing for veterinarians. Just go with it, I guess.
challan 19
It's for artificial insemination.
Zebediabolical 43
It's for hazing the new students. To see who will and won't jerk off a dog.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Of course you'd know about about this, Ali. Haha.
Quiet_one 22
Yeah, it's to collect semen for artificial insemination. They do the same thing for cows and horses.
ShyAnn29 14
Thank you 77, now it makes sense to me.
babeababe 16
But why would you need to do that on a dog for artificial insemination? I can see why they do it on cows and horses. But aren't we trying to control the population of dogs? Is it done the same way for cows and horses as it is dogs? Maybe just practicing on a smaller animal? Still... That is pretty disgusting. It just seems wrong to me to touch an animal in that way.
CharresBarkrey 15
Some breeds of dogs can't mate naturally because of their body shape and bad joints. English Bulldogs are this way. The only way for them to reproduce is through artificial insemination.
asnakelovinbabe 16
And English bulldogs are also standardly born by c-section because giving birth is too dangerous to the mother. They can't breed on their own... They can't give birth on their own... They have a lot of nasal and eye problems... Kinda makes you question the motives of all of this :/
misspulkadot24 17
My dachshund had to be bred with artificial insemination, simply because she wasn't into the whole intercourse thing.
nature_girl_08 14
There are cases in which a vet would need a semen sample from a dog; this is really the easiest way to do so.
CharresBarkrey 15
122 - They also almost always get arthritis. I'm currently dealing with my bulldog going through all of these issues and more. Poor things.
UsernameHere234 13
They do the same for horses but for bulls they use an electro-ejaculator (electric probe to induce ejaculation) up the butt.
phatdaddy62 23
Where do I get an electro-ejaculator???
SkyGuy32 17
#109, I guess they just think "...*********** isn't so wrong y'know?" =P
DKjazz 20
For only $249.99 you too can have an Electro-Ejaculator. Electro-Ejaculator: Go **** Yourself! (tm)
DKjazz 20
Uh oh. Misplaced a decimal. That should be $2499.99. Jeez, that's really expensive, huh?
sunshine330 5
Sometimes when a dog humps too much their penises get stuck and won't go back in until he gets off. I had a friend that had to jerk off her dog daily, until she finally took away his hump toy...
aeonsoul 12
LOL!
Elle_ShellBelle 15
@77, according to my research, an American Dad episode, that traumatizes the horse. Is this not true?
Glitter_taco_ 10
Well lets just say by doing this you can successfully create a mix between a chihuahua and a grey hound
samsam23t 8
when you have show dogs and want to breed them but you don't want to have them have sex right then and there
Sir_ND_Pity 35
I think it would have been funnier if it had been a weiner dog you demonstrated on :) think of the plus side, OP: you'll be dog's best friend ;)
BlueFlatts 20
I thought it was pretty funny seeing how OP is a guy. Must have been awkward for the dog as well with everyone watching.
theycallmekitty 13
I don't think the dog cared whether it was a man or woman jacking it off xD and most females I know would feel just as awkward jacking a dog off as any guy would.....
packrat 26
As an aside, OP is also the abbreviation for the vet campus in SA... :)
B5B0N35 18
Hey atleast you have the magic touch right?
feelingold 18
just keep tugging, just keep tugging, just keep tugging tugging tugging, what do we do we tug, tug, tug
FlyingLeumer 19
We live tp tugggg, we LOVE to tug we love to tug.
stevothedevo 25
Red rocket
brainymes 30
Why in the the world would you EVER have to jerk off a dog?
Nekogami 14
Artificial insemination?? Lol
summerguy97 16
To test for doggy gonorrhea?
PieknyCzlowiek 7
maybe for area specific tests, possibly to see if the dog has been snipped
MissMustard 20
I think it's fairly obvious visually whether the dog has been snipped... Here in the UK the testes are removed so there isn't much guesswork (or jerking off!) involved.
ajh557 22
Hate to break it to you but the UK isn't special when it comes to copping off dogs balls, that guy is just clearly an idiot and doesn't know that we don't treat dogs like grown men who still want balls but no baby (or maybe he has a spoiled rat dog)
jstorie95 8
Don't think I could ever be a vet
Alexis2742 31
That's disgusting.
dweeds508 24
When would a veterinarian need to do this?
Umbreon01100 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sucks OP but YDI kind of I wouldn't have done it
tiernang 21
He deserves it for wanting to get his degree???
TomPusslicker 21
@19 Yes, because as 10 pointed out, if things in life get tough, you have to just give up. If somethings outside of your small comfort zone, why bother trying?
lylotrezor 20
37, because sometimes you win more by doing things than you lose by not doing them. For example, a moment of awkwardness vs. achieving your goal.
MaggieJH 7
But most of being a doctor is out f your comfort zone. Besides, it's good to be out of your comfort zone. You won't get anywhere in life if you don't put yourself out there and be spontaneous
TomPusslicker 21
I still maintain that its the thought that counts. I never do anything, I just think about stuff. Goals are for suckers. They just serve to make you feel like a failure when you give up on them.
eternalibra 14
Pusslicker, I guess they didn't perceive your blatant sarcasm. Shame.
lylotrezor 20
Oh crap you're right. And here at first I didn't understand why my comment was buried. XD
T1A2Z3 34
I mean it's violating an animal... some people aren't animal molesters so...