Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML
Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
calivianya 29
What did you do to piss her off, anyway? You totally got framed.
mk58 31
I must say, I love your username.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
mk58 31
I must say, I love your username.
smartman136 8
I must disagree. I personally cannot condone intercorse with swine. Its dratfully disturbing and vile.
theawkwardlife 21
I hope he's not a farmer.
UncleMuscles 5
Old MacDonald had a farm...
calivianya 29
What did you do to piss her off, anyway? You totally got framed.
SerenaSerenadex3 13
IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY.
fury1031 10
So there has to be a reason for a woman to do something against a man rather than the woman just being a bitch?
arcadekid1 9
Did you interrogate your coworker?
Orchard 33
I know right?! I would have been like, "What the hell did you give me his food for?! Setting me up!?!" And had a throw-down right there in what is probably one of those ridiculously tiny break rooms, and then before you know it the place would turn into a mosh pit of employees taking sides and body slamming each other. Probably.
theslimshadylp 6
Blame the new guy.
cliffibom 15
What if OP is the new guy themselves?
Charleybelle 14
Then that explains why he got framed. Poor guy
GTAmax99 12
New guy*
Lioness8197 18
^who are you correcting?
KiddNYC1O 20
I love fresh meat.
kkbeck17 13
What a bitch move
bReLiNg 18
Now is the time to throw it in the trash can and deny everything. Avoid the deer in headlights look at all costs.
carry_on 19
That's a shit sandwich alright, I hope you manage to get her back somehow...
GTAmax99 12
Get her back with a shit sandwich!
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
crap on her shit sandwich!
andrew_bellati 11
Now it's time for revenge.
Pleonasm 35
Cut your hair, and blame it on that Dave guy. What an asshole.
Bigger_than_Jesu 5
Dave's not here mannnn.
whostolemylama 12
If I were you, I would explain the situation and offer to buy lunch for the boss the next day. But thinking that someone would actually interrogate people over lunch. Then I hope everything works out.
capnbzarr 43
Yeah, honesty is the best policy; and in this circumstance, it's probably the only way to avoid getting fired.