Work, Food and Thief: Under new management

Under new management

By NotAThief - 17/07/2017 20:00

Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 189

You deserved it 310

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Same thing different taste

Well played

By FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 548

You deserved it 4 173

By Jake Leiter - 20/03/2016 18:12 - United States - Grantham

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 973

You deserved it 1 232

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 19/01/2022 02:01

Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because I’m the fattest. I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think I’m stealing entire bags of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 620

You deserved it 146

By Anonymous - 06/03/2016 18:49 - United States - Atwater

Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 093

You deserved it 1 218

The ruling class wins again

By jcrb - 03/09/2021 10:59

Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 169

Long time coming

By I'm the boss, not you - 26/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 1 849

By Lisa - 28/10/2018 22:00

Today, I was turned down for a job because they thought I lied about having a six-month internship. Why? The secretary I told off for stealing my lunch every single day told them she hadn't heard of me, and the new company won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 588

You deserved it 301

By Anonymous - 02/10/2011 20:35 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 914

You deserved it 14 866

Rumor mill

By Gerald - 16/01/2023 16:00

Today, I found out that a new coworker was spreading false rumours about me. I confronted her. and she basically ran to management and said I intimidated her even though other colleagues discredited her claims. She now continues spreading the rumours with her fake intimidation charges on top of it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 85

Slackers

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 21:36 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 076

You deserved it 1 513

Leeono 26

Monday 17 July 2017 13:16

Crush some laxatives in YOUR food and leave a note not to eat it. It's not your fault if someone spends the day on the loo as you did warn them.....

GhostFox 33

Monday 17 July 2017 15:12

Don't use any sort of laxative in your food- it can get you charged with poisoning someone. You can however put something that is spicy, but not spicy enough to cause medical issues on your "food" and bring a spare lunch to actually eat. Alternatively, set up a camera in the fridge area and get him on film, and use a dummy email account to forward it to everyone at work. Make sure to include yourself.

Comments

Leeono 26

Monday 17 July 2017 13:16

Crush some laxatives in YOUR food and leave a note not to eat it. It's not your fault if someone spends the day on the loo as you did warn them.....

Steve115s 7

Saturday 22 July 2017 21:09

That is an awesome idea

GhostFox 33

Monday 17 July 2017 15:12

Mike3258 18

Tuesday 18 July 2017 2:15

ok the spicy part, you can,say you enjoy spicy food. it's not your fault he ate your lunch. therefore, if he has a problem with YOUR food...

EnvyMe33 26

Tuesday 18 July 2017 14:53

Putting laxative in your own food wouldn't be considered poisoning. He could be putting it in his food just to help him go if he's backed up. It wouldn't be his fault if someone stole his food and got the ***** the process.

bartsj1988 7

Thursday 20 July 2017 15:52

How can you be charged with poisioning someone if you put it in your own food. You aren't liable for the well being of thefts.

GhostFox 33

Wednesday 16 August 2017 5:55

I said not to use laxatives because there was a case like this where someone used the laxative idea, the lunch thief sued them for it, and the thief won. Meaning there is a precedent set.