Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (3723)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

#656
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21712) - you deserved it (8012)

On 01/01/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Undefined - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

#3096278
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40919) - you deserved it (5214)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm - animals - by FML (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finished a drawing that I spent over 14 hours working on for my mom for Mother's Day. I took it outside to seal it with fixative. I took of the clear lid, shook the can, then sprayed red spray paint all over my art. FML

#1770130
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52957) - you deserved it (23803)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Mandy - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

#318032
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71840) - you deserved it (10680)

On 03/14/2009 at 5:46am - love - by knee2tak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work, about to go to lunch. There were some girl scouts out front selling cookies. I told my manager that I would be using a different exit, and when he asked why, I told him that girl scouts really annoy the crap out of me. The girl scouts out front were his daughters. FML

#695786
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22863) - you deserved it (62826)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:41am - work - by musicman2005 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a CD off a man who always plays Spanish guitar in the subway. When I got to work and tried playing the CD, it was blank. I paid $15 for a blank CD. FML

#3701383
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38417) - you deserved it (21020)

On 07/12/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Raaaaaaarrrrrr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

#5794322
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34749) - you deserved it (5493)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by shocked (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML

#5412403
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11352) - you deserved it (51367)

On 09/22/2009 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was just about to get in the shower, when I heard a loud crunch. I thought to myself, boy the neighbours next door must be doing some heavy construction. Two seconds after that thought, my brother knocked on the door to inform me that the neighbours tree had just fallen on my car. FML

#4251731
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49200) - you deserved it (2370)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by Jaybird1587 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

#4376703
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11715) - you deserved it (44501)

On 08/08/2009 at 1:04am - work - by ilikemusicokay (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML

#4046388
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7615) - you deserved it (82184)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: