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The all-time greatest FMLs

A night to remember

By Jo. - 20/10/2022 02:00

Today, it was my 21st birthday. My roommate insisted her friend join us. They both got belligerently drunk while I was pretty sober. We ended the night at 12am with her friend violently sobbing at the bar over her boyfriend, while I played Subway Surfers. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 155

A method to her madness

By TheTruthFairy2023 - 01/01/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom - Andover

Today, I made it all the way up the stairs without collecting up all the shit my wife had left there during the morning. Instead of rewarding me for not falling over it, she cursed me for not understanding her puzzling redistribution system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 265

Who are you?

By MotherNerd - 10/11/2023 18:00 - Netherlands - Halfweg

Today, we noticed some guy lurking nearby our house. In a few minutes, we saw that the TARDIS (the police box from Dr Who) replica that we built for our son in the backyard was on fire. This guy burned it because he "hates nerds." I don't even know him, he just saw the box somehow and decided to set it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 115

It's been a while…

By Rob - 03/10/2022 11:00 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I realized that every other targeted ad I see is for some sort of dating app. I've been single on and off for 5 years now, and it's starting to get to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 148

There's a party in my pants!

By CatchingUp - 20/10/2022 06:00 - Australia - Waurn Ponds

Today, my period came two days late. After fretting for two days, my body made it up to me by sticking three days of symptoms in one day. I needed Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Scotch, and cuddles before I got any relief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 149

That blows

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 23:30

Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 215

Toxic positivity

By You're* a bunch of idiots - 20/03/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, my school's student council has started putting random positive messages on people's lockers. I'd like to be happy about it, but my inner Grammar Nazi is pissed because they've mixed up "your" and "you're" on so many of them. I just want to take a sharpie and correct them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 180

Best of three

By Anonymous - 12/04/2023 06:00

Today, I chipped my front tooth on a hazelnut. Yesterday, my car broke down because the mechanic did a shit job, and oil leaked all through the engine. I'm waiting in fear of whatever expensive thing is going to happen tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 105

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 136

Anyone can be a 7 if you try hard enough

By Anonymous - 23/09/2022 04:00

Today, I had a very nice, long, and pleasant dream about having a girlfriend for the first time since 2010, and then I woke up. I'm right about myself, I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, and there's no point in trying to change that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 281

Karen strikes again

By Anonymous - 17/02/2021 08:01

Today, at work as a manager at pizza place, I got yelled by a customer because they got one fewer paper plates than they asked for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 124

Roommates from hell, part 4765

By SHUT UUUUUP - 03/03/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I've found that it's hard to focus on important things when your roommate won't stop singing at the top of his lungs, without any music playing mind you, especially when his singing voice sounds like a cat being forced through a meat grinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 98

What did I do?

By Ryan McArdle - 25/01/2021 10:58

Today, I tried to log into Instagram for the first time in 2 days. They deactivated my account for violating their guidelines. I haven't posted a picture or made a comment in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 144

Jealous guy?

By Anonymous - 11/09/2025 00:00

Today, at nearly 9 months pregnant, I came home to find the nursery that had been set up was now completely stripped of everything. My husband was angry at me for not forgiving him for getting another woman pregnant at the same time, so he took everything from the room and gave it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 94

Lonely guy

By Anonymous - 04/06/2022 18:00 - Australia

Today, when asked confirm my login details via text or automated phone call, I chose the phone call to pretend that someone actually cared enough to call me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 225

Alexa, play "Heat Wave" by Martha and the Vandellas

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 02:00

Today, I checked my local weather forecast. The highs are supposed to be 85-94°F (29-35°C) for 9 of the next 10 days. It's been 95-102°F (35-39°C) for the past week. I have no air conditioning. I'm so tired of this heat! Fuck climate change! FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 361

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 30/01/2021 16:58

Today, even though I help cook and clean on a daily basis, I got called lazy and told I don't do anything around the house. I live with my parents and twin 18-year-old brothers and they all say this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 141

Al Pacino

By scar face - 20/04/2023 06:00

Today, and for the last year, I have a disfiguring scar on my nose that I’m very self conscious about. My 4 year-old niece recently noticed it. Now every time she sees me she leans in real close and says, “What’s wrong with your face?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 83

High tech scamming

By Thaylok - 13/07/2023 12:00

Today, I was contacted from the great beyond by my mother on Facebook. So were most of my family. This occurred within 60 minutes of her passing. Scammers act fast and can even claim that six sons all posting about the death and reporting the account is a lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 101

Golden child

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 20:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my mum went and told everyone she only went to the doctor after being ill because my brother told her to. It was me who'd been telling her for weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 111

Fundies do the darndest things

By Leah - 04/02/2022 00:01 - United States - Queens Village

Today, my home health aide doused me with what she considered to be Holy Water. It was bottled water. Turns out she was having a meltdown. It's a freezing day in New York City. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 105

Racketeering

By Anonymous - 21/06/2023 03:00 - United States - Isle

Today, I woke up to the most excruciating pain in my jaw. No dentist that takes my insurance has any openings, and the one doctor I can see to get antibiotics isn’t in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 114

Foreshadowing

By anon - 31/10/2022 10:00

Today, I overheard my girlfriend talking to her friends, saying the most attractive guys are tall and dark-skinned. I'm about average height and pale. Uh-oh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 137

Shoelace dyslexia

By Ham-fisted - 09/07/2022 04:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I had to explain to yet another person that I can't tie a knot. Even if someone walks me through the entire process, I never get it. The person in question berated me for not being able to perform such a "simple" task. I truly don't know what I'm doing wrong, and it makes me feel like an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 366

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 143

Oh no!

By fml - 19/02/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, the ethernet cable that I'd waited so long for arrived. I have been gaming on the stupidly unstable wifi for months and finally I thought my life would be saved. Then it turns out that the ethernet port isn't working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 238

In the zone

By fgs - 29/11/2020 23:01

Today, after joking with the guy I've been talking to for 8 months about his plans for my birthday, he told me he didn't want to 'lead me on' and wants to stay friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 218

The house always wins

By Rhayne - 23/07/2023 06:00 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, I discovered my husband hadn't stopped his dangerous gambling habit, even though he'd promised to stop after I caught him the first time two months ago. I'm hurt, sad, confused, and angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 147

Not so Easy Rider

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Spartanburg

Today, I put the key in my motorcycle but there was no power, so I pushed it to the road and tried to roll-start it down the hill. Pushed back up the hill. Jump started it and took off. Had to push it back up the hill. I change the battery to find out that the electrics are shorted out. I don't have another vehicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 147

Weird request

By EpicOracle - 14/10/2022 18:00

Today, after being apart for three months, my fiancée said the only way she'll take me back is if I send her some of the pictures we took on our first date. I deleted everything when I thought we'd never work out again, so it probably might not work out again, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 469

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The Top

Today, after telling my boss how I was looking at purchasing a motorcycle, she went on a rant complaining about how if I die, she'll have to train a new employee. Thanks boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 780

You deserved it 1 824

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 937

You deserved it 8 218

Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over, I walked around cleaning up the trash. I saw a card sitting on the table, along with a note to my mom saying, "Better luck with this one." At the moment I'm an only child, and the card was from my grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 719

You deserved it 4 258

Today, a customer asked a question I couldn’t answer. I asked if she would wait while I consulted someone else, but she spat in my face and stormed off. My manager saw, wrote me up for refusing to help, and gave the woman a gift card for her troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 051

You deserved it 257

Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 863

Today, the guy I like took 15 hours to respond to my text. When I asked him why he took so long to respond, he said, “Chill, I’m not your boyfriend or anything, why are you asking me questions like that?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 984