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Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML

#20067454
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (3400)

On 09/11/2012 at 11:08am - health - by Stevski (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17595) - you deserved it (3277)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

#19612935
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5586) - you deserved it (20152)

On 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

#19656281
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19306) - you deserved it (3990)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria

Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML

#19684423
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18367) - you deserved it (1369)

On 05/26/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by gazza (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

#19896001
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (2196)

On 07/05/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by 303 - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

#19779823
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18951) - you deserved it (2748)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:14am - animals - by missmisfit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

#20103084
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18798) - you deserved it (1657)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by sharky (man) - United States

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16391) - you deserved it (2391)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML

#19971657
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17950) - you deserved it (2417)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:58pm - animals - by summerbabe77 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19138) - you deserved it (6812)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cleaned out my house and placed multiple boxes of clothes and books in my two-seated truck to take to the Goodwill. While turning onto the highway, everything tumbled on top of me, sending me crashing into a guardrail. FML

#20107435
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15880) - you deserved it (7264)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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