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Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

#19896001
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (2105)

On 07/05/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by 303 - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

#19779823
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16134) - you deserved it (2403)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:14am - animals - by missmisfit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

#20103084
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (1514)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by sharky (man) - United States

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15645) - you deserved it (2304)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17470) - you deserved it (6551)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cleaned out my house and placed multiple boxes of clothes and books in my two-seated truck to take to the Goodwill. While turning onto the highway, everything tumbled on top of me, sending me crashing into a guardrail. FML

#20107435
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15780) - you deserved it (7237)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

#20132432
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17204) - you deserved it (3967)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (5822)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26948) - you deserved it (8200)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28824) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20954) - you deserved it (25512)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34725) - you deserved it (4157)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada



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