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Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

#13657321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (9398)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:06am - work - by Disappointed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24710) - you deserved it (3000)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

#13064737
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (12628)

On 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

#14248999
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (4796)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:22pm - health - by drew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (237901)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (1873)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a bar which has two stories. I was on the top floor and then went downstairs. As I was going down, I recognised a boy in a wheelchair and his friends trying to get him up. I helped and took the wheelchair. One of his friends decided it would be a good moment to steal my wallet. FML

#21465757
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (1693)

On 09/07/2015 at 5:20pm - money - by sadsadboy - Peru

Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML

#550
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24706) - you deserved it (2636)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:41am - love - by Carla J. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

#20102154
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (6247)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

#8131977
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (2222)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by yourstruly - United States (Georgia)

Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML

#6005073
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (32533)

On 10/26/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML

#14339155
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24696) - you deserved it (4031)

On 12/25/2010 at 9:29pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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