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Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13742) - you deserved it (24490)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13740) - you deserved it (69102)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I shaved my legs and pits for the first time this summer. It took 3 disposable razors and an hour to get the job done. I've clearly been single for far too long. FML

#10645029
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13738) - you deserved it (42736)

On 05/20/2010 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

#5680607
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13732) - you deserved it (60611)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by TatooFAIL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

#13701417
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13730) - you deserved it (27141)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

#20034503
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13730) - you deserved it (6507)

On 08/21/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by mr_flarpin (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13726) - you deserved it (40441)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

#17603044
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13717) - you deserved it (37702)

On 08/28/2011 at 7:29am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13712) - you deserved it (26400)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML

#6634050
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (31078)

On 12/06/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by lolfayce (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

#14718702
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13701) - you deserved it (20273)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

#6624561
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13700) - you deserved it (32878)

On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)



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