Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

#20063395
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17545) - you deserved it (2095)

On 09/08/2012 at 4:32pm - health - by balletteacher - United States

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML

#15720918
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17537) - you deserved it (27098)

On 04/10/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by Ouch (woman) - Canada

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

#4226426
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17534) - you deserved it (52734)

On 08/02/2009 at 7:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that being arrested isn't something a decent person should have on their bucket list. I had to explain this while bailing her out of jail. FML

#20002792
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17534) - you deserved it (2054)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17530) - you deserved it (31497)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (27107) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17523) - you deserved it (25900)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

#14140366
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17519) - you deserved it (38604)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada

Today, I needed to buy a new crash-helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

#18028228
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17519) - you deserved it (8089)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Helmet (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17518) - you deserved it (46179)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML

#19016688
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17517) - you deserved it (6161)

On 02/07/2012 at 7:04am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's post-Christmas debriefing
  • Thank tinselled-Christ that that's finished! Christmas 2014 is finally over. We can finally stop grumbling about the endless songs about snow, put the presents away in a closet (or a dumpster) and…

Friday 26 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: