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Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML

#383
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12635) - you deserved it (30569)

On 11/24/2008 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by William - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

#2774700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12621) - you deserved it (67775)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

#2367025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12614) - you deserved it (42351)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:14am - health - by KKimrae_ness (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

#16531117
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12611) - you deserved it (49359)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm - love - by Someguy (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

#11283596
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12602) - you deserved it (34282)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by gimmeabreak0_o (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12601) - you deserved it (32486)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12593) - you deserved it (57754)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

#13687643
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12590) - you deserved it (32207)

On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally found the perfect quote to open my college essay. Then I found out that the author was one of the founders of the KKK. FML

#20080326
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12589) - you deserved it (3200)

On 09/20/2012 at 2:10am - work - by Albert (man) - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12587) - you deserved it (46152)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

#18921610
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12581) - you deserved it (33956)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:46pm - money - by ChevRooon - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

#17184494
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12575) - you deserved it (68865)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:07am - love - by sarahbeth93 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12571) - you deserved it (112664)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)



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