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Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

#7034832
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9324) - you deserved it (20742)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:26pm - health - by baybuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML

#16040668
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9324) - you deserved it (78690)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:33am - love - by Cuppycake (woman) - Canada

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

#1021876
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9318) - you deserved it (83113)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by TheBRADLeyB (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML

#14471297
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9314) - you deserved it (27629)

On 01/05/2011 at 2:41am - work - by sucks (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

#9043466
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9311) - you deserved it (22024)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:13am - misc - by googoogaga (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (71958)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (31369)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML

#4224204
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9309) - you deserved it (63485)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

#19778453
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9309) - you deserved it (23686)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9308) - you deserved it (58911)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I found out that my husband never wanted to marry me, he only did because I wouldn't quit pestering him to propose to me. FML

#6717933
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9307) - you deserved it (46448)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML

#20515797
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9307) - you deserved it (33295)

On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -

Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML

#6612429
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9303) - you deserved it (19510)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:44am - love - by JennyAndrews (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)



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