Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

#14658827
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you deserved it (12562)

On 01/21/2011 at 3:35am - animals - by twinkie2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you deserved it (26882)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to the DMV to take my drivers test. FML

#7059140
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (8610)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML

#19532931
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (4039)

On 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by HAIRY (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (54209)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML

#6695498
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (11739)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by NotHauteCouture (woman) - United States

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13818357
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (6689)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (38240)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20902) - you deserved it (26216)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML

#5853326
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20901) - you deserved it (42446)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

#20082065
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20901) - you deserved it (1794)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by hopelesscollegestudent - Canada

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (3145)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my two kids to a Christmas festival with a train theme. I spent $24 on conductor hats for them. When I gave them the hats, they threw them on the ground and put the red paper bags they came in on their heads. FML

#14289494
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (6418)

On 12/21/2010 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: