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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my electric razor fell flat right after I had finished with my first cheek. And of course I don't have a manual one. FML

#362
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20283) - you deserved it (4829)

On 11/22/2008 at 2:02am - misc - by Goatkvlt - Sent from mobile version

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

#6574517
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20281) - you deserved it (11119)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

#1021502
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20277) - you deserved it (109845)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20274) - you deserved it (48620)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, there was a power outage at my apartment. I ended up deciding that the power wasn't going to come on any time soon, and that I should go to a hotel for the night. Just after I unpacked at the hotel, my neighbor called to say the power had come back. FML

#20942793
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20271) - you deserved it (40326)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by FUCKING POWER - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

#6707808
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20267) - you deserved it (3648)

On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20263) - you deserved it (3025)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20262) - you deserved it (66039)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20258) - you deserved it (4276)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

#11911406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20257) - you deserved it (43311)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I re-broke my leg. The same way I broke it the first time, playing frisbee. FML

#18344372
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20259) - you deserved it (12326)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:44am - health - by Sammy - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got up on stage excited to recite a spoken word piece that I worked on and memorized for about 20 hours, neglecting other obligations like studying for an exam the next day. I blanked out in the middle of the performance in front of hundreds of people. FML

#8962343
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20255) - you deserved it (6274)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by KJS (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

#14069245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20255) - you deserved it (11593)

On 12/03/2010 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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