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Friday 27 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66923) - you deserved it (4071)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61671) - you deserved it (7229)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61399) - you deserved it (25755)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59192) - you deserved it (3988)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58474) - you deserved it (37396)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

#20893002
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57625) - you deserved it (4602)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

#20903440
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57441) - you deserved it (13976)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52481) - you deserved it (2505)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

#20893179
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52049) - you deserved it (3508)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51947) - you deserved it (7213)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51949) - you deserved it (4989)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51543) - you deserved it (6309)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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