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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45964) - you deserved it (3806)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45958) - you deserved it (3738)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45945) - you deserved it (4175)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized my wedding ring had fallen off while doing yard work the previous day. Luckily, I only worked in a few areas, so I had high hopes of finding it. That is until a storm came through, blew half a foot of leaves all over the property, and then froze them with sleet. FML

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45897) - you deserved it (14092)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45854) - you deserved it (18859)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45811) - you deserved it (8139)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML

#20955154
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45781) - you deserved it (2638)

On 11/12/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45753) - you deserved it (8399)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45692) - you deserved it (6171)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45638) - you deserved it (4125)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45512) - you deserved it (5667)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States



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